Match report March 6 2010

Rory Alexander scored all four goals in a below-par performance against strugglers Southampton University, but it was enough to secure us a 4-2 victory which keeps us at the top of the table. The Ladies turned in an excellent display to beat second-placed Wimbledon, keeping our outside chance of promotion alive. The 3rd XI won 2-0 at Surrey Old Boys, while the 4th XI put their early-year goal famine behind them by trouncing Addiscombe 7-1, but the 2nd XI were on the receiving end of an 8-2 stuffing by Merton.

Southampton Uni 2-4 1st XI
As well as we performed last week this performance was poor and but for Rory's sharp shooting which bagged him all four and Paul's excellent debut in goal we would have been in trouble.

Southampton Uni may well be wondering how we are top and undefeated, but top and undefeated we are needing four points out of the 12 remaining on offer to confirm promotion. Today was probably as much as expecting to win and being too casual - something we talked about ahead of the game. A number of us were off our game and we were too slow in bringing the ball out of areas. Although we had the lion's share of possession we squandered chances, choosing the wrong option, and only won one short corner.

The half time score was 1-1, Rory deflecting home a cross from Wobble where we had brought the ball out from the right hand side, two touched it to the left with Wobble putting the ball into the D. In the first few minutes Cookiey and Hunts hammered a ball goalwards and Gavin was in good positions on a handful of occasions when wrong options were chosen. Ever dangerous on the break the Uni created some good chances but Paul was on hand to keep the goal intact making three top-drawer saves. There was however nothing he could do to prevent an equaliser 20 seconds from half time when the ball was given away by our defence two yards out.

Early in the second half we made the most of what the Uni thought was a fortuitous decision for our only short with their keeper making a Horlicks of Rory's shot and we were two up. Although we scored two more to go 4-1 up, Rory whipping home two shots from the top of the D, we were never comfortable in our play and gave the Uni a sniff with 8 minutes to go conceding another sloppy goal.

Fair to say that our attendance at training over the last few weeks has been poor and this is reflected in performances like today. We are too one dimensional and lack legs in certain parts of the pitch, both of which can be sorted by a more committed training regime.

Southampton seconds next week so will be interesting to see what team they put out. Do they bolster the 2s at the expense of the 1s to try and turn us over or ensure a strong first XI who are playing Wanderers to keep their promotion rather than title designs alive? David Knapp

Ladies XI 2-1 Wimbledon


2nd XI 2-8 Merton


Surrey Old Boys II 0-2 3rd XI
The 3XI drove down the A3, beyond Thames Ditton to the last game at The Varsity Centre which is due to be knocked down at the end of the season. Playing against a team that we dished out a 11-0 spanking to earlier this season, we had a strong line-up (and Jock) anticipating a challenging game.

The game started with confident play and solid movement of the ball through the team. Surrey old Boys (SOBs) however started picking up the game after 10 minutes and pushed the defence to some innovative play. Stu and Tim held the centre well and although some attacks were more threatening, it was Mr Hawes that kept the team in with a shout. It was however another attack that Tim 'twinkle-toes' Judd felt that using his feet instead of the stick to keep the ball out that Nigel really stepped up. A penalty flick, Nigel, theatrical to the point, deflected the flick away with his stick keeping the OCs in the game. The 1st half evolved with some better play in the last 10 minutes with CD holding the right defence and distributed the ball through to Tissy and the centre midfields, Armo and Bruce. Preston dropped back a little to provide a point man and the OCs started to control the end of the first half. In one of the attacks, a ball crossed in and SOBs defence weren't able to clear and another foot on the line. Preston stepped up and calming put the ball away into the right side. Half time.

The second half started with better play and the midfield started to have better control of the game. Although SOBs weren't giving up, the distribution and team work in the second half was greatly improved. SOBs attack however came with occassional breaks that the defence handled well but it was Mr Hawes that held his own and made several excellent clearances. Ross and Chaz were linking up well upfront and starting to move the ball quickly but a moment that no one likes to see, Stu in a shot at goal, shot from the back of the D and a SOB defended put his head onto the end of Stu's stick and came off the worse. Paramedics arrived, Jock told the injured man to man-up and off to Surrey A&E on a saturday afternoon. We wish the player all the best.

The midfield started to take control of the game in the final 5 minutes and some strong breaks played out and although a goal almost seemed inevitable, some excellent skills from Preston drew the keeper out to the ball, passed to Chaz whos sweep was going slightly off course and it was Ross from 2 inches that closed out the game with a 2-0 win. Man of the match, Nigel Hawes, DOTD was however Tim who turned up without a stick and shin pads! Whatever he thought was going to happen with these minor resources remains a mystery. A good win and well played to the OC defence, another clean sheet. James Armitage


4th XI 7-1 Addiscombe


Wimbledon Vets 0-2 Vets XI
OC Vets arrived in dribs and drabs for the evening fixture against Wimbledon in Motspur Park, somewhere north of Siberia. The footballers on the adjoining pitches had long since packed up and gone home before our game had even started. The setting sun dazzled for one half but gave out no warmth. We were cold before we even started, frost-bitten by half time and by the end had all sensation in our extremities. But nevertheless we left New Malden in good spirits, with the glow of satisfaction of a fine win warming our hearts.
There were eleven of us and about fifteen of them. We were blessed with the presence of Ollie, rock solid at the back and full of class. Shanks had another stormer between the sticks, and the spine of the team was strong; Trinder, Howie and Rowlands running midfield, were, as they always are, very very good. But above all we had Andrew Eve and Andrew, as the song goes, ‘well, he was something else’.

A rather scruffy first half came alive when Rowlands slipped his man, got down the line and knocked a dangerous ball to the top of an empty D. Eve, with a defender in close attendance, raced each other to the ball but the winner of that contest was emphatically our balding super-skipper. Arriving half a yard before his opponent he unleashed a fierce first-time shot from fifteen yards out that bulleted into the top right hand corner. The Wimbledon keeper was good enough to get a hand on it but the shot was too strong and, courtesy of this wonder-strike, we got to half time one up.

Very few of us listen to Andrew’s half time talks any more, but anyone who had would have heard him suggest that we have a ‘big first ten minutes and get a second goal’. Well ten goalless minutes of the second half were nearly up when Andy took it upon himself to implement his own half-time advice. Another dangerous OC attack looked to have been stifled as the ball was shovelled away from goal by a defender. Luckily for us it fell to the mighty Eve who smashed a bouncing ball just inside the far post. Eve 2 Wimbledon nil and for a while it was party-time.

Then with 10 minutes remaining our luck seemed to run out as our hairless hero decided to intercept a fast moving Wimbledon clearance. He charged at the oncoming ball just as a Wimbledon stick lifted it head high. There was a sickening, bony thud as the ball hit Eve square on the forehead opening up a deep, nasty and bloody wound. There then followed a period of intense medical activity (i.e. chaos) as various Vets demonstrated their caring skills. Trinder took charge but was tender, you might say almost maternal. Rowlands was enthusiastic but, with respect, largely incompetent, crowning his eccentric surgical efforts with an attempt to apply a large plaster without first removing it from the packet. The author of this report demonstrated a medieval ignorance of micro-biology and germs by producing and applying a grubby bandage that had been languishing in the bottom of his kit bag since 1997.

Thus was our beloved leader repaired and, bless him, was he was determined to play on Terry Butcher style, bloodied but unbowed. Common sense prevailed however and Wimbledon kindly lent us a player and we battled the last ten minutes, with Eve consigned to helpful remarks from the touchline.

Within seconds however Wimbledon won a flick and we all had that nasty feeling that the game might yet slip through our fingers. But we reckoned without Shanksy who leaped cat-like to his right post to beat out the well-placed stroke. It was a great save from our in-form keeper and much-needed. Our self-belief was thus restored and Wimbledon’s soon faded and we were able to keep them out until the final whistle.

This was a great win between two very evenly matched teams separated only by two moments of brilliance by the ever-young Andrew Eve. David Burles

Match reports January 30 2010

A last-minute goal from David Knapp helped the 1st XI draw 4-4 at third-placed Southampton, a result which leaves us in second with a game in hand on leaders Yateley. The Ladies also maintained their promotion push with a 1-1 draw at home to Purley Walcountians, but it was another disappointing day for the 2nd XI who went down 1-4 to leaders HAC. The 3rd XI game at Leatherhead was called off minutes before the start because of frost, while the 4th XI beat Old Georgians 1-0, their first goal in seven weeks. The Vets drew 2-2 at Cheam.

Southampton 1st XI 4-4 1st XI
Another tight game against Southampton but a result that is more use to us than for our hosts. Once again we could have come away with all three points, but so could Southampton.

Missing Rippers, DP played in the mid field role. We controlled the first 15 minutes without reward only to go one down against the run of play and having not made the most out of six short corners we had won before their first goal. For some reason our heads dropped a little and Southampton had their best spell of the first half in the ten minutes after they scored. We did however pull level when Johnny Hunter with his best drag-flick of the season scored.

We missed a couple of good chances in the second half and gave away a careless short corner which Southampton fortuitously squeezed home. At this point the game was going from end to end but we equalised with Danny's goal of the season and then took the lead when Cookiey slapped home a loose ball from the short from a tight angle which was an excellent finish. We then had a guilt edged chance to wrap up the game with 10 minutes to go but Knapp inexplicably put the ball wide when it was easier to score. Two more careless defensive errors gave Southhampton two more short corners that they converted, with the second of these and their fourth goal coming four minutes from the end.

We upped our game and with 30 seconds left, Knapp deflected home a short corner strike to give us a share of the points. Perhaps we were too anxious as we didn't play with the same control as last week but by not losing our destiny is still in our own hands. David Knapp


Ladies XI 1-1 Purley Walcountians
With snow on the ground on waking up, I thought it might be back to a boring Saturday with no hockey but luckily we got the go-ahead to play on the incredibly hard, concrete-style, astro. Good thing we had the skill to control the bouncing balls.

The game started with some argie bargie and protestations on umpire decisions from the opposition, which Martin dealt with in true form and nipped in the bud early. We came out hard, having been pysched up by Goalie. We pressurised Purley and kept pushing up. They had a couple of breakthroughs in the first half which Julia dealt with like a pro. Our constant high work rate paid off near the end of the first half when Gadget caught Nicki's eye and made a sweet pass from just outside the D which Nicki picked up and cleanly executed to put us 1-0 up.

Unfortunately a slight lapse in concentration in the first minute of the second half meant they quickly equalised with a slickly-taken goal. Though we had a large measure of play and there were several opportunities, including a cracking shot from Snoops, we couldn't capitalise on our strong hold. The game finished 1-1.

...oh and we musn't forget that during this battle Gadget took a green card not just for our team but for the oppo too when Martin finally got fed up of everyone ignoring the 5 yard rule...Cheers Gadget!! Sarah Tucker


2nd XI 1-4 HAC
Report to follow.

4th XI 1-0 Old Georgians
The now-traditional post-match cakes failed to materialise (Nick Aston’s spluttering excuses failed to convince anyone) and although the game was played in glorious sunshine, the rock-hard surface made controlling the ball hard and neither side came to terms with the conditions. There were only three shots all match, all from us. One midway through the first half was well saved by the OG keeper, but the second prouced the only goal when a short-corner strike was only half saved and Atsushi was the quickest to the rebound. We defended solidly, Steve Harmer, in an unfamiliar position up front failed to make his usual impact, but in the end it didn’t matter as we took the points. The goal was our first since December 12, but since then we haven’t conceded one either. An interesting stat until you remember the cold snap meant this was only our second game since then.

Cheam 2-2 Veterans
Report to follow.

Match reports November 7 2009

A superb win for the 1st XI, battling back from two down to beat Yately 3-2 and so jump them into second place. The 2nd XI also came from behind - twice - but eventually went down 2-3 to OMWs in a scrappy match marred by an injury to Dodie Khurshid and some substandard umpiring. The Ladies moved into third in Surrey II with a 3-0 win over Old Georgians, the 3rd XI recovered from shipping a goal inside two minutes to beat Horley 3-2 and also move into third, while the 4th XI cruised to a 4-0 victory over a young OMWs side. The eyebrow-raiser scoreline came at Sevenoaks where the Vets went down 2-11.A chance goes begging during the 2nd XI's defeat to OMWs
Click here for this week's match photos

Yately 2-3 1st XI
A game both sides needed to win but one we managed to earn the points.

Yateley struck first with their dangerous short corner routine paying dividends early on and our failing to make the most of two very good chances. The home side went two up when Trickster chased one of the oppo's forwards and inexplicably brought him down with our having no complaints about the ensuing stroke which was scored with ease. With only a minute to go a two-goal half time deficit would have been a huge problem but at last we woke up and began to realise we are in a game. Two chances in the last minute led to a stroke that Hunter put away giving us the half time psychological advantage.

The second half was a different affair. We came out of the traps fast and dominate the proceedings albeit Yateley looking dangerous on the break. The scores were level when Woody threaded a through pass that reached Gavin whose pinpoint pass was slotted home by Rory who had his best game of the season so far, his fifth in six. From that point onward it seemed as if there would only be one winner but our cause was not helped by three yellow cards to Ripley, Knapp and Brewer, two of which were perhaps very harsh but when back to 11 on the second occasion a short-corner strike from Eds found its way home and we had the lead for the first time in the game. If nothing else Yateley are fighters and were not prepared to lie down and be tickled. They pressed and won two short corners, the final one with the last play of the game but for once the routine let them down and we ran out winners.

A loss for us would have provided Yateley and Southampton with clear daylight at the top of the league but as it is the win puts us one point ahead of Yateley and still two behind Southampton. The next meeting in February will be a very important game and could have a huge bearing on the end of season placings. A poor first half perfromance with Yateley deservedly ahead but a feisty second half one that saw us edge the game, just. David Knapp


2nd XI 2-3 Old MidWhitgiftians
Clueless in attack and spineless in defence ... sorry thought I was back at Twickenham. Although it would be a harsh assessment of our performance, in some instances that is how it felt. The fact is that we should have never, never lost against what was at best a mediocre side. This is the exact type of game that we need to take maximum points from, in order to stay in this league - we know that we will face teams significantly better than this lot and so we need to get things right and fast. Old Mid Whits had one player of any calibre, and we let him punish us. Which is poor.

We were not helped that we lost a few players from the previous week's victory: Tom, Chris, Neil and our skipper Rob (through illness) and the fact that Farqs and Selbs were hobbling around with dodgy hamstrings. We did however welcome back stalwart Dodie but alas he could not finish the game after sustaining a horrific leg injury in the second half (best wishes for a speedy recovery).

Not ideal preparation but even so we should have run out comfortable winners. We started fairly brightly with openings created for Austin and Jimbo, unfortunately nobody could get on the end of either move. Their goal came against the run of play and after one of the poorest decisions I have ever witnessed from an umpire (and trust me I have seen my fair share of howlers, eh Martin) - it didn’t just touch the strikers foot, he absolutely leathered it! I don’t want to sound like a moaning, bitter man so I'll keep this bit short ...

That was the worst umpiring performance I have had to endure since I have played for the OCs. Honestly I can’t remember so many wrong decisions being made. Two of their three goals were absolutely down to umpire errors, which is such a bitter pill to swallow.

Back to a little serious stuff – I’m not going to regurgitate the match - we lost 3-2 and had numerous chances to win, let alone find an equaliser in the last 10 minutes - Cooky decided to step it up a gear and ran them ragged. Paul (stepping in commendably for us) hit the post with about three minutes to go ... you just knew it wasn’t to be our day...

Umpiring aside we need to look at our own performance which was not up to scratch. Each week we talk about composure and ball retention. These are clearly basics but are of huge importance. At times we look good, at others we look extremely shoddy. We have had six games now so should be used to new faces etc. There can be no more excuses. We need to improve our quality all over the pitch and each take responsibility for our own performances. We have definitely shown we can survive in this league, and look forward to welcoming back Neil, Chris and, as rumour would have it, Will Stephens which will strengthen us undoubtedly. But we need to put in a massive performance next Saturday and find some consistency. Or we will lose to Argentina. Chris Porter And in case it needs saying again, the views expressed in this match report are those of the author and not of the whole club etc etc

Horley 2-3 3rd XI
Report to follow

4th XI 4-0 Old MidWhitgiftians
This week saw the 4th XI take on Old Midwhitgiftians at Thames Ditton. Thanks go to Amy Davis, whose kind pitchside babysitting allowed Rob Jonker to umpire. Amy was undoubtedly delighted to discover that she wouldn’t also be required to babysit the group of teenagers knocking balls around beside the pitch, as it turned out they were in fact our opposition. With an average height of 5’ 3”, compared to our 6’ 4” (yes, this is distorted slightly by Smeer’s 5ft to-be-seen-to-be-believed Mohican), and an average age of 13 to our 65 (yes, this figure is distorted by the presence of Messrs Aston and Crumby’s creaking limbs) gravity and the energy of youth looked like being our biggest problem this week.

Martin stood in for Nige Smith in goal, making his presence felt early on in the game with a scything tackle on OMs forward. The resulting penalty flick was remarkably flicked high and wide of the goal. After that, and not surprisingly, their forward line didn’t go near Martin until at least the last 10 minutes of the match!

OMs young team defended like groups of wasps and frustrated us in the box - time and time again getting in the way when a goal looked certain. The goals did finally flow though and we took a 3-0 lead into half-time. If David Beckham played hockey, he’d probably play it like Steve Harmer; well, that’s what Steve would like you to think. His “David Beckhamesque pass” (he asked me to say that) midway through the first half found Jamal well-placed to open the scoring. A further goal by Jamal and one from Howard followed soon after.

A good start to the second half led to us adding a forth - Adam Justice slotting home moments after shooting agonisingly wide – after a long period of domination. We did create further chances, but with the game seemingly won saw fit to step off the gas and see things out to the final whistle. The OMWs first and only shot came two minutes from time. Another good result which keeps us within two points of second place in the league. Thanks to Rob Jonker for umpiring. Dom Tucker


Ladies XI 3-0 Old Georgians
A routine win over the league’s bottom side lifted us into third place, and put us in a strong position for a run of three matches against top-five sides. We started strongly and were all over the visitors but only had a Vikki Mottram goal to show for our efforts. We rather lost our way at the end of the first half, but dominated after the break as Goergians’ composure started to fall apart. Veteran Vikki added a classy second from a pull back from the dead-ball line by Charli, and Sarah Mann wrapped up the win with a crisp finish after a goalmouth melee. She later praised “super teamwork and great passing all over the pitch”.

Sevenoaks 11-2 Veterans
Of course we all know that hockey is a team game but on Saturday an enjoyable and competitive match was transformed by a certain Paddy Osborn demonstrating the goal scoring talents that made him all time top scorer in the National League with more than 122 goals. His final tally of six goals rather understates his involvement as three others were touched on the line by other players depriving him of a deserved nine-goal haul !

The day started promisingly with 13 players present and correct before kick-off including David Burles who had brought his mother along so we even had support and Sevenoaks had kindly agreed to provide both umpires. The game started slowly for OCs conceding an early goal which we would put down to only having a few minutes practice on the magnificent new pitch at Sevenoaks as the game before had run over. Matt Speers put his body on the line defending shots with his hand and had to come off to get some feeling back into his hand. He spent the rest of the match wondering whether someone had drawn a target on the back of his shirt as every time the ball was lifted it seemed to seek him out!

We got back into the game at 2 - 1 when Derek Shanks, over from the US, crossed the ball for Andrew Eve completely unmarked to rifle the ball home from the top of the D. There was only the goalkeeper to beat and he managed to avoid his recent tendency to fire the ball over the top - aiming for somewhere is very over-rated! This could have been a mistake as Sevenoaks upped their pace and took the their lead to 6 - 1 at half time.

The usual fascinating and incisive talk at half time was cut short by the defence saying don't worry about that just find some way of dealing with No. 27! In the second half we managed to play some good hockey keeping possession and building well only to be finally be broken down outside their D the ball shelled down the pitch and deposited in the back of the net by No. 27! Again we had them worried with a goal from the elusive Burles sneaking into the D and firing home his shot which he cleverly arranged to be deflected in by a Sevenoaks stick. I think he was just looking for some respite from defending!

The final score of 11 - 2 sounds disastrous but there were some great highlights unsurprisingly amongst the defence. Andy Loates stopping a waist high drag flick on the line with aplomb. Peter Shanks making some spectacular saves when appearing to have been beaten and his plea for someone other than him to get involved in defending. And even more unusually in a heavy defeat the usual chorus of "Fortunate Fellow" fellow was not heard from Pete after each goal was scored - you just have to appreciate class !

In the usual Vets way we returned to the Sevenoaks clubhouse, supped some delicious Harveys Best and by the time we left somewhat later had nearly persuaded Sevenoaks that they had been lucky to just sneak a win ! We obviously took some comfort from the fact that St Albans Emperors who we lost narrowly to 0- 2 in the first game of the season had beaten Sevenoaks 6-4 but look forward with a little trepidation to that away match in 2010. Andy Eve

Winning messy

The 1st XI returned to winning ways after two draws with a 3-2 win at Old Midwhitgiftians in a game David Knapp admitted was “our worst performance of the season”. The 2nd XI turned the form book on its head with a battling 2-2 draw against league leaders Old Whitgiftians, our first points of the season. The 3rd XI overcame the almost forgotten fun of playing on grass to beat bottom side Spencer 1-0, the side’s first back-to-back wins in more than two years. The 4th XI beat Leatherhead 3-0 with all the goals coming in the first 20 minutes. The Vets beat Cheam 2-0.A diving Chris Porter nets our first goal in the 2nd XI's 2-2 draw with league leaders Old Whitgiftians
Click here for this week's match photos

Old Midwhitgiftians 2-3 1st XI
Our worst performance of the season but three valuable points against OMW's who have always made life difficult for us.

A few shuffles of the pack gave us our starting line up and as with the last few weeks we played well for 20 minutes, poorly for the next 20 and then regained our momentum for the last 15. Two goals to the good early on courtesy of two sharp finishes from man of the match Gavin should have been the platfrom for a convincing win and but for one smart save Trickster had nothing to do in the first half where we had been pegged back to 2-1 following a crisp strike from the OMW's only short of the half and indeed the match.

In essence we lost our pattern and played the ball long instead of keeping it short and sharp as we had done when on top. The home side also pressed more having gained considerable confidence from their strike. We missed chances to wrap up the game and paid the penalty when a stroke was conceded and the scores were level, Trickster unlucky to see the ball dribble home after guessing right.

Fortunately Dan P was on hand to nudge the ball home with 15 to go and although hanging on at times again, had bags of chances to kill of the game but making bad choices and suffering as a result of some bad basics. A couple of professional tackles went unpunished by the umpires in our ranks although Rippers took a yellow for the team late on and we came away with three valuable points to put us right back in the mix.

Excellent game from Gavin and another good performance from both CV and Dan which will make selction interesting with CB, Cato, James W ood and Jonny H back next week. David Knapp

2nd XI 2-2 Old Whitgiftians
This week's match photos
Yet again we found ourselves playing the league leaders – that’s 3 times out of our first 4 games (and before they picked up points against us!!). We welcomed back our old friends Old Whitgiftians. They moved up the 2 leagues with us and last year saw 2 epic games against them – coming back to gain a draw after being 3-0 down after 15 mins at home and then beating them by a couple of goals at their place later in the season.

We had the advantage this week of a reasonably settled side (by our standards anyway) – not that you would have known it in the first 10 minutes when we invited them to repeatedly pour down our right hand side. The pressure eventually led to a well struck short corner which the skipper missed on the post. 1-0 down after 10 minutes was not the start we had hoped for. This did seem to galvanise us though and we started to string some passages of good hockey together. JP Davidson replaced Rob Merry to play in his favoured position of right back and did a fine job throughout. We played some good hockey but once again gave the ball away too much in their half and rarely entered the d – which continues to put us under unnecessary pressure. It has to be said that they were putting in some fairly average tackling which they were lucky to get away with (more of that later). A quick transfer round the back (probably for the first time in the game) provided some space down the left. Several quick, precise passes cut them apart and Porter did the rest.

Half time at 1-1 and things were looking good. Unfortunately we got the second half of to a disastrous start – Jon Heard, who up until that point had had a fairly faultless game, had a wobble to many in the middle and their striker duly accepted a very kind gift – the result a three-on-one and ultimately a goal. At this point our heads could have dropped but encouragingly we picked up the pace a bit and started to attack more. Austin Vowles, a late replacement for Bruce who had been pinched by the 1st XI, working hard to create something. A rare trip to the d led to a short corner and Rob Merry, who had come on up front, was on hand to blast the rebound in from the penalty spot – 2-2.

What followed was a real battle, reminiscent of our tussles with Old Whits last year. A bad tackle or nine too many from them led to the first yellow for them. We failed to really take advantage of this and almost inevitably started to put in some bad challenges ourselves – leading to a yellow for Chris Porter. The backs worked hard – Chris O’Neil-Dunne making an excellent save on the line form a short corner and Ross Kingsnorth making several other fine saves. When we did pick up the pace and really attack them we looked dangerous. A long run up the left and through the middle from Rob Merry drew a foul just in front of the D – nothing much but then it had been one of four committed in the same passage of play. The result was a short corner and another card to their player – perhaps a little harsh but consistent.

Even with a man down they continued to press. We still looked dangerous on the break but lacked the penetration to get into their d much. A clash of sticks in an otherwise good tackle by James Bents meant he saw yellow with about five minutes to go, the result of us once again needlessly loosing the ball in their half. So we had to play out the last three minutes a man down. Unfortunately we conspired to concede a short corner with a minute to go but Ross made another fine save. The whistle was in truth probably a blessing for both sides and certainly the umpires!

2-2 was probably a fair reflection of the game – resulting in Old Whits dropping their first points of the season and us winning our first points of the season! The next four weeks see us play three out of the four bottom sides – which have become must-win games for us, even at this early stage of the season. With decent availability and hopefully a player or two from the 1st XI we should be ok and hopefully we will be able to provide some players to the 3rd XI to aid their important quest for promotion. Rob Merry

Spencer Harlequins 0-1 3rd XI
Congratulations to us all on grinding out another win by managing to beat Spencer Harlequins 1-0. This may not sound the most amazing win, but to take any result where we score more than the opposition whilst playing on grass is good enough for me. The game this weekend felt as much of a lottery even though I feel we would have wiped the floor with them on Astro.

Our Third win of the season has taken us up to the heady heights of 5th in the league. Congratulations to new recruit Ed Brown for scoring the all-important goal. Nigel Hawes

4th XI 3-0 Leatherhead
The prodigious 4’s turned up to a cold & damn OC ground somewhat down on the numbers readied for battle on Friday evening, (various dubious reasons ensued!) Thanks go to stalwarts Andy “the Duracell Bunny” Eve and Howard “the Interceptor” Cruthers for stepping in to boost the squad.
Tactics were set as we studied an oppo with only three goals conceded in four games, whilst they sat in third place with us in fourth.

Play started on a slick & greasy surface with some good pressure and fast runs from Leatherhead for the first ten minutes. There somewhat immovable king-pin hogging the top of the D, looking to provide some deft touches to fast young oppo running in from deep. A strong defensive line from Kevin “the Power Tackle” Smith, Robin “Longarms” Crumby and “I’m not Nasty” Nick Aston, quelled most of the early pressure.

In a break from our 16, an irrepressible Grant “Dodgy Chicken Legs” Archer carried the ball quickly with James “Slick” Bish to bash the Oppo D. Eventually the ball was passed from the right, for Archie to finish neatly across the keeper at the right post. Whether this galvanised us even more, or Leatherhead head’s had dropped who knows, but we continued the pressure with some fantastic running up our right flanks from Dom “Skin’em Gonzales” Tucker!! Perseverance was rewarded as we set up for a shortie which ran right to Dom who slotted it deftly into the corner. 2-0.

As the oppo rallied slightly, moving on by him there was a loud memorable guttural sqawk as jetsetter Stevie “Ohhh Nick Griffin!! I will NOT be beaten like that,” Harmer sped earnestly back across the pitch in a resplendent effort to get the ball! He did. More resilient pressure in Leatherhead's D saw an Archie nutmeg go just wide. Another shortie resulted in a foot stopping save, and a P flick was duly awarded. Step forward Chris “I did miss my breakfast with my delightful conquest from Friday nights night out” Bents to power home a delightful stroke to the top of the net! Some post goal sloppiness saw the Oppo in our D for a shortie, strongly blocked by Power Tackles. Four or five first half attacks were stopped dead due to the new rules not quite sinking in just yet.

The second half resumed with the oppo applying good pressure, but perhaps they had a little more wind as we struggled to regain the control we had for the last 20 minutes of the first half. Great link up on the right with Chris, Andy & Dom to set us up for another shortie, but alas we could not convert. A nose-bleeding run from Longarms Crumby, linking up with Gonzales and Nick “Ever-ready & Roaring” Jocelyn saw a decision of question, as a possible shortie transpired to be an Oppo 16?
It must have been correct though as Martin “I’ll only umpire if you bring me cakes!” Williamson took his legendary firm control!

The last ten minutes of the game saw a fairly even match, with our last action coming as we took another shortie, which found Chicken Legs heady with excitement as he struck for the left corner, but forgetting to move his right foot, yelped in sheer pain as a his calf spasmed in anger with all that running forward. Or maybe it was just cramp!

An excellent team performance providing solid midfield link-ups, strong rearguard defence and superb speedy attacks. Monday Stats see the OC4’s sitting second.
Smithers. Nigel Cakeman Smith


Veterans XI 2-0 Cheam
So we are at TD on a very mild, overcast afternoon to take on a good Cheam side. Tommy sets up the side as a fairly rigid 442. Cheam start well, maintaining possession without really hurting our stout defence (can use any interpretation here). Cheam did however create a number of short corners but these were well defended (more of this later). We finished the 1st half with a few good moves and half-time came along with a scintillating 0-0 score-line, fairly reflecting the play.

The sun came out during the half-time chat and Tommy/Andy correctly assessed we lacked width in attack and were consequently playing to Cheam’s strengths - so they changed the formation by playing two left-halves. I know this sounds rather strange but it worked – Cheam’s most effective attacker was their ‘right-wing’ playing high up – so the 1st left half man-marked this player while the second maintained width. I think we ended up with a sort of 352 which would sometimes be 3142 or 361 or 3241, Benitez et al - eat your heart out.

The result of this tactical masterstroke enabled us to take more control of the midfield and put together some nice passages of play. This was assisted by Myles being able to find space and get on the ball to hurt Cheam as second forward with the tireless Judge Sleeman

To cut an already long story short – we managed to score two goals from open play by picking up loose balls in the ‘D’ and firing home – Myles & Clive – the best of pals. Apart from everyone putting in a good shift, we should not forget the passage of play where being 2-0 up, we decided to run the clock down by conceding a number of short corners in succession – all of which were ‘run down’ by the amazing Jon Gray– in total he must have done 10 sprints to the top of the circle – outstanding effort.

However, there was one champagne moment when the Cheam striker having again been ‘run down’ by John hit an absolute screamer past the excellent Shanks – going at shoulder height into the net when Matt produced an amazing save by upper-cutting the shot over the bar.

This led to the main debating point in the bar – the decision by TC was a 16 – due to this being the first shot, there is an argument that the striker had attempted to get a form of shot away which was stopped by Jon and also - due to the defence having touched the ball in the ‘D’ – first shot rule is eliminated? As you can see the writer hasn’t a clue and would like clarification.

To sum up at last – an enjoyable game against a good opposition played in good spirit where I suppose the result could have gone every which way. And a final note of admiration for two fine demonstrations of CF play where late on, the Judge ran ~ 50 yds on two occasions to beat the Cheam full-back and get shots in. Andy Eve

Goals at the bottom end, draws at the top

The 1st XI were held 2-2 by Southampton in a cracking game, while the Ladies also held Purley by the same scoreline. There were goals galore at the bottom end of the club - the 3rd XI had the novel experience of handing out a drubbing as they thrashed Teddington 6-1, while the 4th XI made it 13 goals in two weeks with a 7-1 rout at Old Georgians. The Vets beat HAC 5-02, but the 2nd XI's woes continued as they went down 0-5 to the same opposition.


1st XI 2-2 Southampton 1
The hard work to achieve promotion and regenerate our first team was made all worth while when playing in games like that against Southampton on Saturday. We knew that they are going to be the side to beat this year being a young and efficient team and a large club. Indeed it was Southampton who condemned us to the drop 5 years ago and from all accounts were unlucky not to be in the A division of the league at the end of last season.

As with last week we came out of the traps fast but unlike last week Southampton were intent on playing a similar free and fast running game. We shaded the first 15 or so minutes and were rewarded with a Gavin Adair goal with his touching home a superb ball in from Eds, continued to press but found the opposition keeper in inspired form, making 3 or 4 top class saves.By half time we were 2 - 1 down with Southampton deserving their lead. 2 well finished goals follwoing a period of intense pressure. We could have been furtehr behind but a couple of chances went begging.

As the second half progressed our squad, well marshalled by David Cresswell dominated and it was no surprise when man ofthe match CV finished off one of the moves of a number of seasons that invloved most of our team and saw 3 crisp transfers of the ball from side to side. From here on it seemd as if there would only be one winner as we retained the ball well and snuffed out Southampton's midfield domination that had caused us problems in the first half. Not to be denied though, Southampton looked very dangerous on the break, forced a number of short corners and created chances that they could not take. Trickster made 2 good saves but it was the Southampton keeper who saved the away side a point and denied us 2 more. Perhaps we should have made more of the chances we had and there was a feeling of 2 points lost rather than one gained.

The match ended in controversy but respect to Sean who later held his hand up.

The biggest disappointment of the day was the lack of urgency on some occasions when Cressers called the subs which are called for a reason and at the correct time. The positive side was a good solid performance by new guy Dan Poulson, the Woods and Cato with Nick L putting in an excellent second half after being under pressure in the first and a strong OC second half performance with us taking the game to Southampton.

Arguably we could have nine points out of nine but equally Southampton may have an argument that had they taken a two-goal lead into the second half by converting one of their chances after their second goal they could have gone down the A3 with all three points. David Knapp

Purley Walcountians 2-2 Ladies XI
These days you hear so much about how motivational talks by coaches and managers before a game can inspire a team. With a tricky away game against an unbeaten Purley team everyone waited to hear what words would be used to get us ready - and were promptly told by goalie that he had “no faith” in us (sure we believe you when you claim you just got your words a bit mixed up...).

The opposition were full of fast young players and they used that to their advantage early on to score a breakaway goal. However, instead of letting our heads drop within two minutes we were level, some excellent play down the left-hand side saw the ball eventually break free to Katie in the area who coolly slotted the ball away. From then on we took the game to Purley and put them under immense pressure especially when we used the self-hit rule so effectively getting attacks moving whilst they were still getting organised. Jax was unlucky to hit the post with a shot. Eventually we were rewarded for our hard work a strong drive down the right and into the D by Snoops who crossed for Sarah Mann to score. As Purley looked to get back into the game they worked a quick 1-2 from a short corner and were back level prior to half time.

The second half was close, with both teams having chances, but neither managing to convert them. As the game went on more of the decisions favoured the home team, but everyone shrugged it off and got on with playing their own game. If it hadn't been for an excellent save from the Purley keeper we would have gone ahead. At the back the defensive line of Hels, Rosie, Lucy and Rewa dealt well with a number of Purley short corners which ensured they never got a clear chance from any of them.

Everyone played well and on another day we'd have got all 3 points, but to be truthful a draw was a fair result. Julia Dann


3rd XI 6-2 Teddington Oaks
With an early start to the game and only 11 on the pitch the first five minutes looked as if we had not yet woken up and we were lucky to keep it at 0-0. Nevertheless as the first half progressed we seemed to settle and started putting greater and greater pressure on our very young opposition. This pressure finally paid off with Louis Strover scoring a goal with his normal precision after about 15 minutes. This was quickly followed up by a second scored by Jamal to give us a 2-0 lead. We had our tails up and were really starting to play some great hockey. There were brilliant performances all over the pitch with the defence having a strong performance … with Jock Vickers moving back to sweeper where he is probably most suited, a big welcome back to Abs Janmohamed who really gave us a solidity which we had been missing, CD who seems to have made right back his position after today’s performance and Ollie who had got his focus back having his best game of the season so far. Unfortunately Ollie managed to pull a hamstring midway through the first half, but with the possibility of going down to 10 men he soldiered on. Towards the end of the half Teddington managed to pull a goal back with a slick move that had the defence and myself scratching our heads as to where it had come from. But on the upside we went into halftime with a lead of 2-1 and a confidence that we could go on and achieve our second win of the season.

At halftime we changed our structure to push Ollie up front up in order to protect his hamstring. The second half started well with the midfield staying really strong… Ross also had probably his best game this season, Dougie definitely proved that he is getting back to his very best, Preston despite being out of position made a big difference in the middle as the conduit between defence and attack actually existed today. We were able to put a lot of pressure on the Teddington defence even though their 11 year old keeper was doing some good work (yes I did say 11 year old !!!), They could not hold out forever and our latest makeshift attacker Ollie was able to take our lead up to 3-1. We did experience a number of scares and Teddington did get the score back to 3-2 with a well taken short corner. At this point Teddington did push hard and caught us out a couple of times but with a combination of well timed tackles by various members of the defence and a couple of saves from myself (even if I do say so!) we were able to maintain our lead. However eventually Louis was able to craft a 4th for us and at 4-2 we didn’t really look back. Before the end Jamal was able to add his second and Preston was able to slot a well deserved goal to make our tally 6. It has to be said that this was a great all round team effort as we concentrated on playing our game and used our experience to get the better of a very young, fit and skilful Teddington. I am extremely chuffed as, even whilst I don’t wish to admit this, having captained the side for a year and this being the start of my second season it was the first time that the team had won while I was playing. I personally blame the keeper!!! Hopefully we won’t have to wait so long for the second. Nigel "At Last A Winner" Hawes

Old Georgians 1-7 4th XI
This week, Mrs Amy Oxo provided the team with OC orange cup cakes after their match against the Old Georgians. The cup cake, like the 4th team, is having a bit of a resurgence. Back in the 80s they were very cool, but they have been overlooked for the last couple of decades. In 2009 they are definitely back.

The cup cake is sometimes known as a fairy cake. But there were no fairies on the pitch in Weybridge this week ... well other than the ever camp Harmer (maverick) and Archer (iceman). Both of whom had been caught singing to Girls Aloud on the journey to the pitch (Boyzone had been taken from the cd player out of respect).

The cup cake is made of flour, sugar and butter. The solid formation of the cupcake is provided by the flour. The central formation of the 4th team, Smith, Crumby and Harmer, Shakir started the game on a strong foot. With driving runs through the middle, one of which lead to a trademark roof breaker by Jemal to open up the scoring. It all goes it bit hazy after this point, I know Shakir got another 2, Bishop 1 and Dom 1, the others I forget.... - at half time it was 6-1

Any chef will tell you, if you want to make anything taste better, just add a bit more butter. And this is what the OCs did during the second half. By adding another goal to the tally from.....again I forget. With the Old Georgians rallying, it nearly felt as if they had more players on the pitch.

The sweetness of the cupcake is provided by the sugar. Our sugar daddies of Kevin, Crumby and Archer stood strong through the second half where Old Georgians started to make a number of attacks. Particular mention should go to Kevin for some fantastic tackles when he was the last man standing.

The final score stood at 7-1 and we move into a strong fourth position in the league. During post-match chat our captain this week, Grant Archer was overheard making reference to Diego Maradona's foul mouth tirade this week. "Today we are in the 4th place in the league, with help from nobody but with honour. To all of you who did not believe in us, and I apologise to all the women here, you can eat my cup cake and keep on eating." Mark Oxbrough Harmer, you're fired


HAC 2-5 Veterans
OC Vets followed up the glory of their "never-say-die" victory at Tring last week with an emphatic win away to HAC on an enjoyable afternoon played in great spirit in leafy Dulwich. This performance probably lacked the ‘derring-do / Guns of Navarone’ quality of the Tring triumph but was probably a more impressive overall performance. The outcome was never seriously in doubt and each time that HAC threatened to climb back into the match OCs found another gear and, more importantly, another goal. The 5-2 scoreline1 did not flatter the away side and this against a decent HAC side.

Graced by the classy and tireless Howie and the ever-menacing and powerful Gavin Rowlands this Vets performance was built around a strong midfield performance, the ball moving well through the middle of the pitch courtesy of another impressive display from Tommy ‘what-no-hat-trick-this-week’ Trinder. As ever the most effective passing proved to be the short ball in and out of the flanks and Jon Gray once again proved his worth, ever-dangerous down the right. At half-time OCs led 2-0, the second being a classic ‘fox-in-the-box’ effort from the sparkling Stuart Slemen following the all-important first goal, a short-range thwack by Tony Jones created by a neat pass from the aforesaid Slemen, surely a classic case of ‘poacher turned goal-maker’. . Jury service is clearly agreeing with him!

Half-time was interesting. Wade Pollard umpiring clearly had a plane to catch because he reduced the interval to just a few seconds. The shortened break proved long enough however for the HAC to neck a bottle of champagne between them – a magnificent moment and one that perhaps contributed to a level playing field given that a number of the OC team, having arrived rather earlier than expected, had ‘warmed up’ for the big occasion by getting comfy over a pint!

The second half was a roller-coaster. A powerful penalty corner strike from Andy Loates was deflected by Gavin to extend the lead, HAC nicked one back only for Andy Loates to touch a pass in after we had moved the ball around with four passes from a short corner to restore the three-goal cushion with a well taken goal. The team was served well at the back by Loates and Speers and Matt Olley in goal didn’t put a foot wrong notwithstanding the lack of clean sheet. In truth HAC’s second goal was the pick of the match, a Maradona style run half the pitch from their centre forward before a crisp finish that left our keeper no chance. We went immediately down the other end to seal the match with our 5th when Gavin Rowlands scored his second from a well worked short corner involving wall passes off defenders shins. Messrs Butcher and Eve meanwhile patrolled the left hand side to great effect. We even had the luxury of Osborn came off the bench in the second half to dazzle and help rub salt into HAC wounds.

We left the match in good spirits but with insufficient time for most of us to enjoy a post-match beer at the Greyhound, the lure of the evening Quins Toulouse game accounting for much of the team, another victory for an away side, but this one an unwanted result and no doubt reduced the OC Quins contingent to a bout of beer-based consolation! And anyway we can all reflect on a very satisfying afternoon’s hockey. It is official, OC Vets are now an a winning streak. David Burles

Marshall and Carter Keall send Vets to defeat

The 2008-09 season finally crawled to a finish as the Veterans completed their one remaining fixture, going down 1-4 to Spencer. To be fair, Spencer fielded more than a few familiar faces after struggling themselves to raise an XI, and we welcomed back former stalwarts such as Simon Marshall and Chris Carter Keall.

Spencer enjoyed more of the possession in the first half, although they failed to make that count in the final third, and it was against the run of play that Ed Breton gave us the lead. It didn’t last long, Spencer equalising soon after and then going ahead in bizarre circumstances five minutes before the break. A typically powder-puff shot from Marshall dribbled apologetically towards the goal, watched with interest by attackers and defenders who wondered if it would give up of its own accord before someone stopped it. As Pete Shanks prepared to end the farce by kicking it into kingdom come, Carter Keall, behind him in the goalmouth and nominally on the same side, called for him to leave. He did. So did Carter Keall. The ball puffed and panted its way about an inch over the line before expiring. Marshall had scored from a record distance of ten yards. Spectators headed to the bar.

In the second half we created no end of opportunities, most originating with Breton, but gilt-edged chances were spurned by Stuart Sleeman (whose chuntering against the umpire’s decisions included the justification "I’m a judge … I’m paid to be impartial") and Jon Gray.

For Spencer, Marshall showed superb pace, judgment, stick skill and awareness. Dan Marshall that is. His father, panting and clearly suffering, substituted himself shortly after half time and refused pleas to come back, preferring to lean on the fence and chat up the umpire's wife.

Marshall younger scored a third when Shanks, determined not to make the same mistake twice, made a different one instead, diving to keep on a ball heading off and allowing young Dan to slot home. A fourth was just salt in the wound.

Match reports - January 31, 2009

The 1st XI continued their promotion bid with a 7-0 drubbing of Walton & Weybridge Hawks, while the 2nd XI battled to a 0-0 draw with UCL Academicals and the 4th XI drew with Barnes Beavers 2-2. The Ladies remained bottom of the league after another 0-1 loss, this time at Old Kingstonians, the 3rd XI crashed to a 1-8 rout at Leatherhead while the Veterans were well beaten 0-4 by Southgate

Walton & Weybridge 0-7 1st XI
One thing may cost us this season, lack of personal discipline. I do not only mean the bad tackles leading to a short corner and an equalising goal a few minutes from the end but the whole concept of our approach to the task in hand. This starts on a Wednesday night and turning up to training, to being sensible on a Friday night, respecting those in the team who are sensible and on match days to ensure we all meet on time as requested by the skipper. As soon as these things go wrong or are lacking the 70 minute game goes wrong.

Not only does it affect the rest of the team who are then affected by an unnecessary distraction but it winds up those who put in so much effort to pull together the team. There is then discord on the bench, wrong substitutions are made and the structure falls down with disharmony the product.

Fortunately this weekend's game was against a poor Walton and Weybridge side who put up little resistance with us scoring three in the first 15 minutes and four in the last 20. In between there was a sterile 35-minute patch with us taking the wrong decisions in crucial areas. The defence held firm as a unit with the back five including Trickster and the bulk of the midfield barely allowing the host side a sight on goal. The two Woods were especially effective and Cookiey could not be faulted for the amount of leg work he put in.

Gavin scored our first hat-trick of the season finishing his goals extremely well, Ed B scored two corners, Eds swept home a loose ball in the D and Chris Brewer notched his first for many years when picking up the pieces from our final corner. Up front we have to perhaps be a bit more selfish on occasions in the sense of having an early shot on occasions rather than teeing up a tap in.

This season will go down to the wire and ultimately the most disciplined side who gives no margin of error will win the league. There is no room for sloppy preparation "just because it is a side at the bottom" as we have to approach every game as if it is a cup final. Each team in our league has something to play for with the next season's change in the league structure and we will be kidding ourselves if we think we can just identify three or four games as key games that we have to win. Remember London University two seasons ago ... David Knapp

2nd XI 0-0 UCL Academicals
Given that we have have by far the best defence in the league but only two teams have scored fewer goals than us, you do not expect goalfests when we play. Allied to a defence that a couple of years ago would have been gracing the 1st XI - Robson, Heard, Stephens, Duff and Khurshid - then getting Stephens to buy a drink would be an easy steal. As it was, a draw was just about a fair result. We created only one half-chance and what some might claim was a shot in the entire game, while UCL managed a few shots but surprisingly decided on four three-on-ones that dribbling through Duff was the easy option. He made sweetly timed tackles on each occasion. UCL did have the ball in the goal only for the short-corner strike to be harshly disallowed. The decision did not justify the "f***ing cheat" comment aimed at the umpire by one of the UCL players and the refusal of most to shake hands. UCL, who share our ground, are a club we feel close to and who we spent the evening eating curry with.

Leatherhead 8-1 3rd XI
Not much to say. The consensus of the survivors drinking in the bar and downing some utterly vile Austrian Butterscotch paintstripper provided by Jock was that we deserved to lose but not by four goals. Preston netted our one goal although we gave up in the second half, Jock insisting that one of the Leatherhead goals was via a foot. That only left seven to account for ...

4th XI 2-2 Barnes Beavers
A great game all round with some well worked passing and strong team work - 2-2 probably being a fair result in the end. The highlights were Bertie Bance's two wonder dribble goals ... two slower-paced shots have never before crossed the line in one match - nice one Bertie.

Old Kingstonians 1-0 Ladies XI
We played Old Kingstonian’s this week and with OK’s also being towards the bottom end of the league we had hoped to take some points off them.

With a slightly depleted squad, as many people were away for the weekend, we started strong even though a number were playing out of position and Rossy P was still trying to navigate her way through traffic mayhem! However we were caught on the break in the first couple of minutes and a goal mouth scrabble led to OK’s taking an early lead – bugger, bugger and bugger! Sorry for the swearing but we didn’t deserve it!

With this we didn’t get downhearted but took the game to them. Our attacking play and determination to make the fifty-fifties meant we were controlling the game and getting opportunities on goal. Whilst this sometimes left us open to OK’s catching us on the break again, as most of us were up in their half, the defence of Tux, Lucy, Ros, Mez and Jax were able to cope and if not then Steph cleared any loose balls hard out to the sidelines. As we came into half time an OK’s forward decided tackling with a shoulder barge was the way forward (we were beginning to get under their skin) and promptly got a green card from their umps … only to be followed 2 minutes later by a yellow as Goalie (“I have never given a yellow before”) simply had no choice! Okay so now we had the advantage … but then someone blew the damn half time whistle, not helpful!

The player advantage didn’t last for long in the second half as she was back on in four minutes – I ask you! That said we continued our attacking play with good drives up the midfield by Viks, May, Anna and Niks which meant we had opportunities on goal but just couldn’t find the final touch. Snoops, Ems and Lucy continued to hassle the OKs forward line but as the ball glided across the goal mouth attempts to drive it home were dashed as the OKs keeper put in a last ditch save. Injuries meant that for a while Snoops had to play in defence but ‘Psycho’ and the rest of the defence were able to clear the shots on goal with Steph covering behind.

As the last two minutes came we kept pushing but it just wasn’t happening and the score line remained 1-0 to the end. A good game and certainly our determination to get ourselves out of the relegation battle is coming through – we just need to get some goals!!! Well played guys. Next game 10am @ home this Saturday – club support would be good if anyone has a spare morning! And lastly thanks to Goalster who has helped us out a lot this season – cheers. Helen Hawes

Veterans 0-5 Southgate
Report to follow.

Match reports - December 13, 2008

The 1st XI finished the first half of the season with a gutsy 3-2 win over Old Midwhitgiftians at a cold and sodden TD, David Knapp’s strike midway through the second half securing us the points despite a spirited late assault by the side we now leapfrog into second place. The 2nd XI game at Epsom was called off because of a flooded astroturf, while the Ladies ended the year with a 0-1 defeat at Woking, a result which leaves us embroiled in a real relegation scrap in the New Year.

Click here for this week's match photos

1st XI 3-2 Old Midwhitgiftians At last we have won a crunch game against an uncompromising Mid Whits side who were not going to take any prisoners. In fact some of their comments were quite laughable but we knew what to expect and were not disappointed.

In atrocious weather conditions but with the pitch playing the best I have played on at TD OMWs were off to a flyer scoring in the first minute with a shot that Trickster would have been disappointed at conceding. The next 20 minutes saw us play our best hockey of the match as we created a great deal down the right without being in total domination. Gavin finished off a move when Rory set him up and Knapp picked up a stray ball and had the simplest of tap ins to make it 2 -1 after 15 minutes.

Although we continued to press OMW also had their moments but Trickster atoned for his earlier lapse with a number of excellent saves mirrored by their keeper who dealy well with all that was thrown at him. There was a very genuine call for his to have received a yellow card on taking ball and man outside the D but the cards were saved for later when OMWs fabled disciplinary problems handed us the game. At the end of the first half OMWs had the better of the game but we always looked dangerous on the break.

We found ourselves under pressure during the opening exchanges of the second half and OMWs made it difficult for us to release the pressure, pressing us very well. We lacked the bite of Ed B who was indisposed when picking up a nasty finger injury as did Duffy who manfully struggled on. Thankfully the consummate professional Will Stephens was on hand to give us some back up following the postponement of the second's game so we had some defensive back up.

The game turned when OMWs picked up yet another 2 yellow cards to add to their seasons total with our converting a short when having the numerical advantage, Knapp forcing the ball home just inside the post. The key to our game was getting behind the oppo's defence on the right hand side and along the bye line and we should have made more of the 3 chances we created and once again looked dangerous on the break as OMWs were excellent coming forward but very suspect on the break. We then received our first yellow with Eds C chopping from behind and cue Will to wrap up the left hand side. A lifeline was handed to OMWs 7 minutes from the end as we gifted them a goal to set up a frantic last few minutes. Trickster again came to our rescue whilst we squandered a short corner 3 from time.

Rory then went off with a yellow for the last exchanges but our experience saw us take the ball into the corners and along the side lines drawing out a repertoire from a Kendo training session from a couple of their players and bearing in mind we were winning 3 -2 some extraordinarily crass comments. The last throw of the dice saw a crude tackle from Duffy and a short corner awarded against us but fittingly Cato made a superb tackle and we ran the ball out of defence to allow the clock to run down for the last few seconds.

Not a pretty result with the OMW's match report likely to give a different view and probably blaming it on the umpiring - something they did continuously as evidenced by the frequent advancement of 10 yards up the pitch at our free hits.

Second at Christmas and a point behind Wanderers so all to play for with OMWs close behind and Bank and HAC not far behind.



Ladies 0-1 Woking Another cold wet Saturday saw us playing Woking 2’s away. Woking came down from Prem last season and knew they would want to take three points from us to help their promotion campaign. The miserable weather and Christmas season hangovers were affecting our team motivation and we only had 11 players so knew we were in for a toughie. Lucy had donned the keepers pads for the day and we had a couple of midfielders stepping back into the defence. Even so we were up for the match and determined to give Woking a run for their money. The first half started pretty well with some end to end play, with us managing to play quite high and pressurise the Woking defence, winning our selves a shorty fairly early on in the first half but a good save by the Woking Keeper deflected Dora’s strike. Woking were a fit team and made us defend hard too, but with no real close calls for us and Lucy only really having to make one save in the first half. We did manage to get the ball into the back of the Woking goal following a free hit out side the circle and thought we had scored but our joy was short lived as we were not awarded a goal as we had failed

to get a touch on the ball in the circle and it had deflected off a Woking player to win us a long rather than a goal. A few Woking players were beginning to get riled and there was much appealing to the umpires by both the players and their coach, but it wasn’t getting them any where. The first half was pretty even and ended 0-0.

After a half time team huddle to try to keep our selves warm, sprints and determination was high. We were confident we could get something from this. However Woking came out and pretty much dominated most of the first 15 minutes. We defended well but couldn’t really seem to get the ball up our end. Woking's goal came after a spate of penalty corners which we bravely defended and narrowly avoided a penalty flick, with Lucy having to make some superb saves to keep us level, but eventually Woking converted from an excellent straight strike. We kept our heads up but once again it wasn’t to be our day. We managed to put Woking under a bit of pressure and managed with some slick play to get the ball back up their end into their circle but couldn’t quite get a finish on anything.

The score finished 1-0 to Woking and will see us enter the second half of the season in the bottom half of the table. We are more than capable of staying in this league we just need to find whatever is missing from our play at the moment. So ladies have a good break and come back refreshed after Christmas raedy to kick @rse the second part of the season! Thanks also to Goalie who umpired in the pouring rain! Jackie Waite

Veterans 2-0 Cheam I think 10.00 am home games suit the OC Vets. We had three subs, an umpire and 11 men on the pitch all huddled in the leaking stand watching the rain fall debating with the oppo whether we should flip a coin and go to the bar. After a little debate, it was felt that 10.30 am in the bar was even a little early for us so four volunteers were sent out to move the goal posts and take an early cold shower. Maybe John Beck ex of Cambridge United now of Histon FC had a thing there with a cold shower before the game because it works with us. Not that this will be part of the pre-match routine unless forced!

I don't think it stopped raining all day but at least the game was on and so all bar the aformentioned four stripped of and hit the pitch and after a little short-corner practice, the game started immediately.

Plenty of decent possession hockey was on show in the early exchanges with noteworthy efforts from the three musketeers on the right side, Dave, Miles and Jon who played amongst themselves for long periods while everone stopped and watched. With an average age over 55 the Cheam defence were soon under pressure and despite a few breakaway efforts from the Cheam attack, it wasn't long before Dave Burtles struck a sweet volley from 12 yards out and we were one up.

The Cheam strength is their attack but with Shanks and his boys in front of him , Matt and Andy Loades who seemed to vary regularly with both Andy Eve and Wade having a go at full back, the door remained shut. Numerous short corners were repelled by the valiant home guard keeping the score to 1-0 at the break which was taken under the shelter of the leaky stand.

It was agreed that we had to score a second goal early as letting the Cheam boys back in would have got their dander up. This was to be avoided as their attack has been known to rip us apart in the past. The second goal duly arrived via a short corner. I make this point because this is a rare noteworthy event for the Vets. No doubt the practice of hitting out and stopping pre game helped in dealing with these basic functions. The ball was stopped and slipped to Miles who drilled the ball home into the bottom corner.

The rest of the game was about keeping what we had although we were helped by the weather in that 2-0 down in the cold constantly poring rain feels a lot worse that 2-0 up. The final whistle brought relief as we had secured 3 points and we could go and have a hot shower and a beer. Special thanks should go to judge Stuart Sleeman for umpiring the whole game in that weather. Tommy Trinder

Match reports - November 15, 2008

The 1st XI maintained their 100% record and top place in Surrey One with a 4-2 win over Cheam, while the 2nd XI scored four second-half goals to defeat Walton 5-2. The Ladies drew with Old Georgians 1-1, and the 3rd XI recorded their first point of the season with a 1-1 draw, courtesy of a goal two minutes from time, against NPL. The 4th XI beat Teddington 2-0 while the Vets went down to Bromley 0-2.



1st XI 4-2 Cheam
The proverbial game of two halves in which we were scintillating for 25 minutes of the first 35 but inept in the second once the game was killed off.

Having been pumped up by the ghetto blaster in the Cheam dressing room and making the most of a Brucey warm up we knew that plating short passes and crisp hockey and wanting rather than expecting to win would enable us to dominate and dominate we did. Chris Valentine was outstanding in the first half benefiting from a solid display from Nick Lewis whose timely runs from the back caused all sorts of problems for Cheam and gave Chris the space to open up the Cheam defence time and time again. Trickster was redundant in the first half due to our domination and at the break we were 4-0 to the good. Chris set up Knapp for the first, Ed Breton scored at the third attempt from a short for the second and Chris tapped home the third a fitting reward for his first half display. The fourth was the product of a cracking ball out of the back, a sublime dummy by Gavin leaving Knapp with the task of beating the keeper in a one on one and slipping the ball home. In between times we created a fair few other chances that were not converted.

Now to the second half - was it the same two sides playing? For some reason we stopped running and probably felt the game was over and so took our foot off the pedal. A spirited Cheam side cam back in the game with two goals, the second a product of a short corner given away for a clumsy tackle in the 25 and a straight strike deflected over Trickster - sadly by one of us. Although we continued to create a number of chances that looking back were on occasions easier to score than miss it was Cheam who came closest to scoring again with a couple of deflections going narrowly past the post.

Although not as tight as last week we do have to learn how to kill off games in the second half otherwise we will come a cropper.

Great umpiring from Ebs and Ian Jolly - the best combination we have had this season with no cause for complaint from any of the players during the 70 minutes.

HAC away next week - never a happy hunting ground. David Knapp

Walton & Weybridge Hawks 2-5 2nd XI
It was raining goals at Sunbury as we got back to winning ways in style on Saturday afternoon. Considering we had only scored eight goals in five games in the lead up to the match it was pleasing to net five times in a single outing. It was not all plain sailing though. With 15 minutes left on the clock we were leading by a one-goal margin after the hawks had dispatched their second of the game. However a combination of calm heads and clinical finishing ensured we killed off any chance of a shock comeback, with three goals in quick succession. In truth the 5-2 score-line did not flatter us such was our dominance in terms of territory, possession, fitness and skill.

After a high tempo warm up we started the game well and settled into some decent passing and good spells of possession. Andy Selby (looking far more at home in the centre of midfield) linking play well. The tactic of playing Paul upfront with James was playing off with both players moving well and providing targets for our midfield to hit. It was only a matter of time before our pressure translated into a goal, which James Wood provided clinically after 20 minutes.

At half time everyone was shouting about 16s and how to defend them, which I found particularly boring. It was a shame because we could have focussed on one of best halves of hockey so far season. We were confident on the ball, our movement was much improved and our passing crisp. I can't remember the opposition having one clear cut chance during the first period, a testament to our back four's concentration and determination.

Anyway second half and W&W came out with renewed vigour and managed to nick an equaliser, beating Mike on his near post after a significant deflection. Thankfully we did not panic and restored our advantage almost immediately. A great run from Paul led to Rob Merry (who must have been on oxygen he was so high up the pitch) slamming home from the top of the D! Then it was over to Paul to grab an excellent brace to continue his great goal scoring form for the club. Clearly relishing playing higher up the pitch his class shone through, with one thunderous strike which gave their keeper little chance.

We did have a little stutter at 3-1 as hawks grabbed second (again from a short corner) that briefly got the score back to 3-2, but Paul's second and then our 5th, a slick finish from Nick Wood after a perfect cross from his brother, finally clipped the hawk's wings for good.

Ok the opposition were fairly average but we played really well. Crucially the side looked and felt much more balanced. The back four looked settled and assured the midfield were passing and moving and closing down well and we carried a genuine threat up front for the first time this season. There were a number of performances that deserve a mention...Our captain played his best game of the season - a goal, a goal-saving clearance and some marauding surges up the pitch to help out in attack, its clear that full back is a better position for him than left half. Paul Acutt held the ball up well, made intelligent runs and gave us a much needed cutting edge scoring two goals (shame he didn't pass to me with the goal at my mercy late on - these South Africans eh?). "The Woodys" have clearly found their feet now. Both looked sharp and dangerous throughout -a goal each and valuable contributions in general. Andy Selby also had a good game, looking far more comfortable in midfield where he linked well with his teammates and snuffed out any threat coming from their playmakers...

Good result - lets ensure we keep the momentum going for next Saturday's showdown with league leaders Whitgift. Also welcome back to Neil Grimes, who can only help strengthen us further...

And finally... Good to see Martin back umpiring after a few weeks off. He clearly hasn't forgotten how to dish out cards; especially to yours truly. Chris "I got the only card of the game" Porter

Ladies 1-1 Old Georgians
We found ourselves playing our home match against Old Georgians at Surbiton! We had only one sub so knew it was going to be a hard match as we didn’t have the five pairs of extra legs on the bench that we have become accoustomed to! The first half was pretty evenly matched with some close calls from both teams with both our defence and forwards working hard. OG’s won a penalty corner but nothing came of it. Their goal came from a bit of defensive confusion on our part and we let in a sloppy goal. We went into half time 1-0 down against the bottom side in the league.

We knew we had had the better game in the first half and were determined to get something out of the match. The second half we played much more attacking hockey with Muriel and Tux playing fairly high allowing our midfield and forwards to push higher still. OG’s however were not going to let their lead go easily and continued to put us under pressure and again we conceded several penalty corners but held strong defending them. OG’s began to tire and our fitness began to pay off. We found ourselves with much more space but were struggling to put the ball in the goal. Eventually 10 minutes from the end and after some good fast passing through the midfield, Vikki had a shot on goal which she roofed into the left hand corner leaving Jules (our ex keeps) standing. It was a fantastic goal which will be in for a very good chance of goal of the season and brought us back to level at 1-1. We tried hard for another but at full time the score finished 1-1. Next week will be a real test as we face top of the table Guildford. Thanks to both umpires for their time and good consistent umpiring. Jackie Waite

3rd XI 1-1 NPL
Before the match started it looked like it could be another one of those days with various members turning up without shirts including an ex-captain (naming no names Armo), and Ross even turning up without any kit. Nige had also managed to forget to bring and balls so all-in-all our hour warm-up was pretty successful.

It initially looked like this was going to continue into the game with NPL pushing back as we managed to keep giving it away too cheaply and in so doing we managed to put ourselves under a little bit of pressure for the first ten minutes. We seemed then to start getting a control of things with Richard taking over up front from Danny and Chris B dropping back into midfield to partner Armo in the centre. As we kept pushing, NPL caught us on the break and Nige could not stop the ball from going past when left with a one on one.

Although a couple of times this season going behind has been the point where we have imploded, this was not one of those days. Stu Steele took the game by the grip of the neck manufacturing great pressure from the back with assistance of Tim, Ollie and Stefano. With Chris Scott and Chaz making some great runs down each wing the pressure on NPL was constant. Pretty much the last 20 minutes of the half saw us camped in their half and despite constant pressure we were unable to capitalise on this and went into half time still 1-0 down.

The second half started back pretty even with NPL trying to keep us out of their half and making a couple of breaks. Either the defence or Nige Smith, (who commanded his area) were far too strong for them. The pressure then continued to build and it looked in the end as if NPL had decided that the only way forward was to put 11 men behind the ball.

It looked as if we were not going to break this down but with only a couple of minutes to go we secured a short corner. We had had a number through the game but had not really threatened that much with any of them. We still had a never-die-spirit and we were not going to give in on this one. Rich injected to Armo who stopped and Ross struck sweetly. Just as the NPL keeper thought he had it covered Rich swept in and the ball flicked into the roof of the net. With the remaining time left we continued to push but were unable to achieve the elusive win which all considered we did deserve.

Thanks to Jon and David for covering the umpire duties. We came off very proud that the team was starting to gel together and play as a team. The result we have been searching for can only be around the corner. Nige “Cripple” Hawes


Teddington 0-2 4th XI
We returned to winning ways with a 2-0 away win against Teddington Mens VIs. It wasn’t pretty, but we came away with the three points. With various players away watching the rugby, the team was juggled slightly and thanks go to CD who raced back from Hereford to complete the starting XI.

A little over six months ago Teddington Oaks thrashed us comprehensively to win the league title. They bore the same hallmarks of that team; a mixture of very young, energetic, skillful players and a trio of experienced ‘guiding elders’. They were very much a developmental XI and despite their lowly league position we were keen not to be taught a lesson this time around.

We started the game well and played some flowing hockey. Steve Harmer distributed the ball excellently from pivot, enabling CD, Rob Jonker and Smeer to put together some flowing moves down the right flank, and Oxo, Bertie and Adam to do similarly down the left. Smeer in particular always looked dangerous loitering on the last defender, if only the ball would fall kindly for him. At the back, Nick, Rob Crumby and Grant dealt well with an energetic and slightly unpredictable set of Teddington forwards.

A period of good possession culminated in a short corner which ended with CD scraping the ball home from very close range (1-0). After that, our performance went very flat and we hung on for half time for what seemed like a decade. (Half time 1-0).

Play resumed and life returned to our performance. Bertie Bance, inspired by Steve’s new knockers and a trip down memory lane in Richmond Park (where he used to walk his Cat), put in his best performance of the season and scored a deserved goal, passing the ball across the area and into the goal (2-0).

Unfortunately, whoever was responsible for turning on the floodlights must have been watching the rugby, and forgot to do so. Night fell and the game increasingly became unplayable, eventually being halted and enabling us to escape with a two-goal lead and the three points. Dom Tucker


Veterans 1-1 Bromley & Beckenham
Report to follow

Match reports - November 8, 2008

The 1st XI remained top and retained their 100% record with a 4-3 win at Camberley, but nobody is quite sure how we came away with all three points. The 2nd XI remained second with a thrilling 0-0 draw with Wanderers. The 3rd XI were left still looking for their first win after a 0-4 loss at Kenley, while the 4th XI went down 1-3 to leaders Horley. The Vets, despite the rare fielding of a brace of Shanks, lost 0-5 at Southgate but were boosted by a cultural match report (see below) while a double-booked pitch meant the Ladies had a wasted trip to Richmond

Camberley 3-4 1st XI
Holy jamolee - not only was the biscuit taken but the whole factory's supply taken. The factory has shut down.

We knew that Camberley were going to be a tough nut from their results. Giving them space in the midfield and conceding short corners was what they wanted. We had the bulk of the ball in the first five minutes but then went to sleep, lost our pattern and changed our style so it was no surprise when from their first corner the home side went one up with a wicked dipping strike.

The first of the howlers then let us back into the game when Eds’ dying swan won us a penalty stroke and fortuitously we were level when David Knapp popped it home. Neither side managed to create much for the next 10 minutes or so but instead traded passes in the midfield. Cookiey was instrumental in clearing up a lot of loose ball at the back and a change in our tactics saw us beginning to dominate the game and thwart the danger of the two wide-midfield players. Following a strong run and sublime skill from Rory Gavin was set up for our second with Cookiey winning a free hit in our half, making a forward run and picking up the resultant aerial. Back line was again hit and this time Cookiey set up Gavin for our third.

The same style was used in the second half and on winning a short a well-rehearsed move enabled Knapp to pop the ball home. From this point it seemed that it was a matter of how many. Rory had a stinging reverse-stick shot saved but we then lost our shape completely. The injury to Cato hurt us and was evidence of his importance. At this point the fun started. Both sides received two yellows for what were in essence innocuous tackles. Gavin’s was for "being frustrated because I did not blow the two fouls on you before you stick tackled the player"...!! Rippers was for a tackle being of such a high standard that its kind has probably not been seen at this level before. The reverse stick clean nick of the ball was OK but apparently Rippers had the opponent's shirt in his hand. Isaac Newtons theory of relativity would have been oh-so-different had he seen this tackle before the apple fell on his head.

Two quick goals from Camberley, another powerful short corner drive and a cracking shot from the oppo's man of the match gave us a tense last few minutes. CB then went off and we were down to a fit 10.

Nick was penalised and a stroke given for what appeared a clean tackle as the ball went directly off his stick into touch, but this decision did even out the earlier howler. Step up Trickster who worked out the flick taker to save easily. However, not so simple. Feet off the line for Trickster, much questioning and a retake. Ball fired wide so still 4 – 3, and so it remained.

Both sides suffered in equal measures. Camberley were unlucky not to blemish our 100% record and so we were lucky to win but win we did. Twenty-four players baffled in the bar afterwards but still top tonight. David Knapp


2nd XI 0-0 Wanderers
If last week's result opened up some early-season OC wounds, then this week's had the effect of rubbing salt firmly into them. Another game we really should have won but in the end had to settle with a hugely frustrating draw. On a miserable, wet morning at TD we dominated for long periods but could not convert our territory and possession into a goal. Wanderers, who defended stoutly throughout; were clearly the happier of the two teams as the final whistle echoed around our ears like the school bell sounding the end of break - we didn't want it to end...

Once again keeper Mike decided to turn up two minutes before push back which meant that Captain Mez had to get into his fancy dress gear - My constant jibes about his ill fitting gloves did nothing to lift our skipper's rather glum mood. In terms of the line-up we looked really strong, not only did we welcome back Neil and Dodie from their successful exploits with the 1st XI, but were also supplied with Will Stephens and Bruce Davies. We started confidently as you would expect from our league position and the personnel we had on board and consequently spent much of the first period camped in the Wanderers half. The passing and movement was good but as the half progressed it was becoming evident that we were lacking a cutting edge, with our strikers limited to a hand full of "half chances". Wanderers, to their credit; defended well, displaying high levels of determination and concentration. Their game plan was clearly to hit us on the break and we had to be on our toes on one or two occasions in the first half when they surged forward - but these were very much isolated incidents.

The second half was, in reality; a bit of a mess. We became disjointed, our movement lacked real purpose and mentally we became edgy - the thought of not winning playing on our minds. The combination of these factors actually helped Wanderers get more of a foothold in the game which, given their overall lack of skill was hard to accept. However the second half did grant us a few real chances, a series of short corners from which Paul came close at least twice, and another heroic goal line clearance from a defender who "knew nothing about it" after great work from Woody (Woody is now my name for either of Nick and James as I am never going to be able to tell them apart.) and Andy Selby. And much like the fireworks this weekend, the game disappointingly fizzled out.

We are still undefeated but a few alarm bells are sounding in my ears - We have a lot of good players in the 2s this season but there are genuine concerns about the balance of the squad. It became increasingly clear that neither Bruce nor Will are strikers, Will on reflection; probably would have preferred to stay in bed than suffer the ignominy of playing for the 2nd XI but there you go. It is easy to be down on ourselves but it could have been another three points and overall we deserved to win. We do need to work on our shape, movement and structure, especially when working the ball into space in wide areas, but our cause is not helped when faced with five new team-mates every week. A settled team, who are used to how each other plays is crucial - so is finding a real out and out goal-scorer ... Chris Porter


Kenley 4-0 3rd XI
The 3rd XI travelled to the far depths of southern England to play Kenley. Coming off the back of a well-fought and played game last week, a strong team with Duncan Mottram returning to the fray after two years in the lofty heights of the 2XI, we had promise, guile and a fair amount of rain beating down to make for an interesting game.

Kenley started the game moving the ball fluidly and using their flanks. Our defence quickly realised that their game was not going to be quiet and Stu and Tim coordinated affairs with strategic cunning that neutralised Kenley's attacks. As we found our feet, excellent marking at the back and coordination in midfield started to provide opportunities for our own attacks. Two early short corners proved threatening and some luck on Kenley's part prevented us taking the lead. Rich Lawrence was making a nuisance of himself on the right flank with balls being played through to Dave, Chris and as Andy came on to provide new legs, the game was becoming a fast flowing and competitive. Duncan was proving instrumental in midfield with competition for every 50/50 and distribution up both flanks keeping us well in the game.

Our beloved captain, Nigel, felt that there were perhaps a few decisions that were being affected by Kenley's appealing made this opinion felt. After an eternity of discussion with the umpire, an exchange of phone numbers, bit of a hug and a pat on the bum, he returned to the goal mouth without a card.

The first-half continued with end-to-end play and a solid approach. The only criticism would be that the ball was been given away a little cheaply in midfield but 0-0 at half time. After the break both teams appeared to lose their structure and Kenley's attackers started to become niggly … however, the defence held their own. Our midfield couldn't find itself and with some solid play in places, seemed to lose the ball too easily and cheaply that kept the defence busy. Ollie and Stefano were kept busy on both wings however it was Kenley that opened the accounts first with a scrappy play that resulted in a close slap past an already committed keeper. Unfortunately, the second came quickly after from a short corner routine that broke down leaving three Kenley players on the right side facing a man on the line, it was inevitable, 2-0.

The game settled for five minutes before some nice passing from the Kenley midfield cut through too easily to expose our fitness issues we were now facing to score another goal. To our credit, attacks still came forward and Rich and Andy were both unlucky not to put a goal in the back of the net. Midfield had found its structure again and the game started to swing back our way only for a bemusing attack, where the ball went off the back line in front of the umpire, five OC defenders stopped, but the umpire “didn't see it”, 4-0. With five minutes remaining, Armo was called over to be reprimanded for appealing for the ball. Being asked what was he going to do, blow a whistle as he wasn't the umpire, asked the umpire if this was a rhetorical question, diplomacy not a forte obviously.

A very creditable game for us, the score line unflattering and unfair but nonetheless, the score line. A younger Kenley team showed their fitness when it mattered but a well grafted game by Duncan, Stu and Tim with good performances all round. The season is far from over based on the OC's last fortnights play. James Armitage

Southgate 5-0 Veterans XI

And so to Southgate, OC hearts beating with hope on the back of the cliff-hanger that was last week’s win against HAC. But, as Robert Louis Stevenson so aptly observed “to travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour”. We travelled hopefully and we laboured hard and long but five goals later (none ours sadly) we trooped off, heads held high(ish) but, in truth, soundly beaten.
This could almost have been a game of two halves, save that we lost both. We drew inspiration from the heady cocktail that was (a) the re-appearance of Shanks (younger) – in borrowed kit and claiming an improbable Vets goal-scoring average of 2.6 goals per match – (Statto over to you for due diligence on that one please!) (b) the welcome addition of the classy Richard Womack finding a moment before his baby arrives to play beautifully in support of our lonely strikers until eventually limping off mid-way through the second half and (c) the return of the surgically enhanced ‘flying’ Pyne. We battled manfully against a powerful Southgate side and might easily have gone into the break level. Loates and Speers stood firm at the back in front of Shanks (elder), Trinder as ever authoritatively organising the middle and Jon Gray and Tim Neligan tireless in attack. We made chances, we came close, but fatally were unable to convert.. And then the inevitable, a Southgate short corner awarded, a five minute break for 21 players as Trinder debated and re-debated the minutiae of the decision with the astonishingly patient Southgate umpire and then the corner itself, the ball rolling to an unmarked striker in space, with time to line it up and smash it through Shanks (elder), who until then had defended his goal with characteristic determination.

At half time there was still all to play for. An early goal and we would be right back in it. Alas there was indeed an early goal - theirs!

The writer pauses the action at this point to remark on the colourful reaction of Shanks (elder) to this particular Southgate score and indeed to the others that followed. Perhaps it had been a tough week flogging Cruise Liners but big Pete’s response(s) to the goal(s) can perhaps euphemistically be described as ‘colourful’. The only printable part being his command to each delighted Southgate goal-scorer “Don’t say anything!!!” bellowed at point blank range into the nearest ear. As a deterrent against further opposition goal-scoring it proved entirely unsuccessful (although in fairness this was true of much that we attempted in the second half) but I am surely not alone in noticing that the enemy celebrations thereafter were distinctly muted. On a more serious note anyone who was actually at the game will have appreciated that Peter’s therapy-needs are now urgent and all contributions should please be made (as usual) via the website www.ourgoalkeepersisbonkers.com.

Thus the second half passed in a blizzard of Southgate attacks (largely successful) and a handful of OC forays into the enemy territory (all unsuccessful). Eve battled gamely down the left, looking close to fully recovered from his shoulder damage, Bermon came on and tied up their inside right and Butch bottled up their right winger – but all to no avail. In many way we were all winners - we had fun, the sun shone as we played, the post-match chilli hit the spot and some of us even cycled home (sort of). But on the pitch we definitely came second. David Burles