Match reports December 12 2009

The 1st XI slipped up against Andover in the last game of the year, drawing 2-2 but still reaching halfway unbeaten and at the top of the league. The Ladies also bounced back from last week’s loss with a 5-1 win at distant Tulse Hill & Dulwich to reignite their promotion campaign. The 2nd XI finished a miserable first half of the season with a 0-5 loss to Oxted, but the 4th XI beat Aldershot and Farnham 3-1.

Andover 2-2 1st XI
Three months ago would we have settled for an unbeaten first half of the season with us topping the table? Yes, we would have. However our top position is possibly only until Southampton play their game in hand and by dropping two points today we have lost our cushion gained from the Wanderers results involving Southampton and OMWs. Two points certainly dropped but for the first time ever we reach Christmas unbeaten in the league, having won eight and drawn three. The league is still in our hands so at least we are not reliant on the other teams around us dropping points.

We could not have started better with a wonderful flowing move, a ball cracked in by Jonny H for Gavin to deflect home his 8th of the season. Criminally Andover were allowed to score an equaliser in minutes with what was an untidy goal from our perspective but all credit to a young Andover team who were not prepared to be rolled over. For the next 10 minutes the game became scrappy before we exerted some pressure, won a series of shorts and regained the lead when Rippers flicked home a well worked corner. From this point on we created chance after chance but the home keeper was in inspired form, saving well from Gavin and Knappy and dealing with the other six or seven corners we forced with ease.

Much of the same in the second half but even though we had 80% of the game Andover equalized scoring on the break with a swift interchange of passes that left James in goal stranded. Knapp and Adair again had vicious shots well saved and try as we might we could not force a way passed a resolute keeper. Another eight or more corners produced nowt, we lost out structure and for a period were guilty of trying to win the game as individuals instead of playing our usual fast passing game. Andover did look dangerous on the break when we over committed but we could and should have won.

Ten years ago we came down to Andover having won 10 out of 10, dominated from start to finish, came up against an inspired keeper and went away tail between our legs losing 4 - 3. At least this time we left Andover bloodied but unbeaten. Great defensive play from our hosts who fought hard and well when they could easily have rolled over. Yes, we missed a number of good chances and did not choose the right option in the D on occasions but we did play some top hockey and created a hatful of chances.

Not all doom and gloom with us still being the side to beat. David Knapp

2nd XI 0-5 Oxted


4th XI 3-1 Aldershot and Farnham
Warning - this report was written by the galloping medic, Steve Harmer
Friends, hockey players, country men, lend me your eyes!

In the words of Elton John, ‘the bitch, the bitch, the bitch is back, and stone cold sober as a matter of fact!’ That’s right, Harmer’s column returns this week to bring all its loyal readers, the best in social, political and hockey commentary. Go on, admit it, you have missed me!

It seems a life time ago since the start of the hockey season, when this column brought you the highlights of our season opener against the ladies team. From which a number of the 4th team concluded that we were going to be in for one hell of a trying season. The match was hard, laboured and as ugly as the off spring conceived from a one night stand between Wayne Rooney and Kerry Katona.

Thankfully dear reader, under the leadership of our carrot topped commander, Dom ‘Ginger Nuts’ Tucker. The ‘Mighty 4th Team’ have continued their Terry’s Chocolate Orange Revolution from last season and have charged up the league during October and November quicker than Simon Cowell sucking up to Cheryl Cole! ‘As we say in the Mighty 4TH team ‘The future is bright, the future is ginger (cake)’ and we have rarely found ourselves outside of the top four.


So this week, as you can imagine the pent up frustration from last week's match focused the squad’s minds ahead of our encounter against Aldershot and Farnham (A&F). In fact at one point we had so many players, the captain had to request one or two players step down. Thankfully Bish saw the light and realised that his wife might want him around to help move house this weekend, Crumby was dying from swine flu (we all know he ate too much cake as his son’s Starwars themed party last week!) and Adam found himself moved onto a different Surrey Police shift.

Unfortunately what brought most consternation, worry and fret between those chosen few that form the Mighty 4th Team squad was the injury to the OCHC club very own David Beckham. Steve ‘Golden Balls’ Harmer was scheduled to return after two weeks out due to his sponsor’s photo shoots in the Middle East and Caribbean. Alas due to an early morning automobile related incident outside of his South West London mansion on Tuesday, said Harmer found himself with an ankle injury. Due to a UK media injunction which came into effect on Friday night, the column cannot report on the details. However we can confirm that no fire hydrant was involved, Lady Harmer was not found holding a golf club over his body and there are absolutely no naked pictures of him with any blonde Las Vegas hostesses! Even with this considerable set back the Mighty 4th team were not worried as it was confirmed that Golden Balls would be on the touchline, prowling, gesticulating and directing like ‘Don’ Fabio Capello during an England international.

As the golden generation of players that form the Mighty 4th team assembled on the hallowed astro turf at Thames Ditton. We were joined by a number of lovely and charming ladies that form the core of the OC 4th’s WAGS, with special mention to Sarah who was attending her first hockey match ever after her engagement to Atsushi. The opposition brought two jail bait CHAV’s with them who spent most of the match smoking fags in the stands. Our WAGS were delighted to meet them, just as much as when they realised that winter had finally arrived, with the wind whipping across the playing fields making us all feel colder than a penguin’s chuff!


Complementing our existing squad players this week we were joined by the mercurial talents of James ‘Armo’ Armitage, Tommy ‘Gun’ Trinder and Howard ‘The’ Duck. Just like a fine wine, we had been well rested, decanted with care and ready to be enjoyed. Well apart from Nick Aston and Jamal that had been at Christmas parties the previous night and frankly smelt like mobile Stella Artois breweries!

The first half started with the Mighty 4TH team finding their feet in a busy midfield space however with the opposition only starting with 10 players we started to take advantage. Thankfully it was not long before some excellent passing between the midfield players down the left found the ball pinged across towards the right post with Howard finding the deft touch to put the ball round the stranded keeper.
At that point the flood gates should have opened however A&F held firm and somehow managed to snuff out all of our shots on goal. Credit has to go to their keeper who was a literal brick wall blocking multiple strikes from Jamal. As our frustration grew we started to lose our structure and concentration. This resulted in many of our midfield trying to dribble rather than pass their way up the pitch and not use the natural advantage of width.

In a rare counter attack by A&F, the ball evaded our backline (probably they were freezing cold due to lack of action) and somehow the ball ended up past Big Smith in goal. He was about as impressed as Mrs Tiger Woods reading the USA tabloid press. We managed to avoid any other disasters and came in at half time at 1 -1.

Reshuffling the pack at half time found Oxo returning to midfield, Atsushi finding a home at right back, Howard moving to central midfield with Tommy Trinder providing a wise head at right half. Smeer found space on the right wing and Nick J came into his own on the left touch line. Fabio would have been proud!

The second half was a lovely example of a full press by OC’s in the A&F half with the opposition rarely getting across the half way line. In fact, Grant Archer (at centre back) was so cold (as he had nothing to do) that he was signalling to his respective WAG to hand over her gloves. This request was met with a direct rebuff and Grant spent the last 30 minutes with his hand in his pockets.

Alas whatever we did, we just could not break down the A&F defence and slot one past the keeper. However as we maintained the constant pressure cracks began to appear with the opposition using more desperate tactics to prevent shots on target. On two occasions ‘Nurse Harmer’ was summoned from the sideline with a first aid kit and a bag of ice to attend to opposition players (we hope they recover soon).

To break the deadlock the OCHC touchline team decided to mix things up by subbing off Jamal, however he had one final magic trick up his sleeve before leaving the pitch and found himself at the top of the D in front of a charging keeper with space to shoot. He unleashed a strike with such power that if the A&F keeper had the temerity to get a body part in the way, then that limb would be removed with the ease of a hot knife going through butter. Alas the keeper did and nearly killed himself (I am not joking!) only to see Jamal pushing the rebound into the net.

From then on it was one way traffic with Oxo, Smeer, Armo, Howard and Tommy taking total control and all going close. At times the passing creativity and combinations of Stefano, Oxo and Nick J down the left were simply beautiful. Smeer went close several times before Nick J found the space to unleash a Louis Strover (supporting from the sidelines) type strike that flew past the keeper catching the top of the back board with a resounding crash.

At the final whistle, we had won the game 3 – 1 against a well drilled, motivated and competitive A&F side who we look forward to playing in the New Year. We celebrated after the match by feasting on homemade ‘White Chocolate & Macadamia Nut Muffins’ by Lady Harmer and Chocolate Chip Cookie by Sarah (fiancé of Atsushi).

Muffin recipe below.

Ingredients
• 2 1/2 cups biscuit and baking mix
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 3/4 cup coarsely chopped white chocolate chips
• 1/2 cup coarsely chopped macadamia nuts
• 3/4 cup half-and-half
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 large egg, lightly beaten

Directions
1. Combine baking mix and sugar in a large bowl; stir in chocolate and nuts. Make a well in center of mixture. Combine half-and-half and remaining 3 ingredients; add to dry ingredients, stirring just until dry ingredients are moistened.
2. Spoon into greased muffin pans, filling two-thirds full. Bake at 400° for 11 to 12 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted into center comes out clean. Remove from pans immediately
On behalf of the team, many thanks to Martin for umpiring and all those that supported on the side line Strover (and family), Tom Pollard, Rob Jonker’s, Chris Bents and our lovely WAGS Sarah, Sarah, Amy and Stephanie.
A well worked win that lifts us back to 4th in the league behind the leading pack. Next week, our last game before Christmas away at Oxted which should keep all of us away from present shopping.
So dear readers, we have come to the end of this match report, it has been emotional!
So good night beautiful people (not you Armo), may your god bless and see you in 2010!
Harmer’s Column signing off.


Tulse Hill & Dulwich 1-5 Ladies XI

Goals at the bottom end, draws at the top

The 1st XI were held 2-2 by Southampton in a cracking game, while the Ladies also held Purley by the same scoreline. There were goals galore at the bottom end of the club - the 3rd XI had the novel experience of handing out a drubbing as they thrashed Teddington 6-1, while the 4th XI made it 13 goals in two weeks with a 7-1 rout at Old Georgians. The Vets beat HAC 5-02, but the 2nd XI's woes continued as they went down 0-5 to the same opposition.


1st XI 2-2 Southampton 1
The hard work to achieve promotion and regenerate our first team was made all worth while when playing in games like that against Southampton on Saturday. We knew that they are going to be the side to beat this year being a young and efficient team and a large club. Indeed it was Southampton who condemned us to the drop 5 years ago and from all accounts were unlucky not to be in the A division of the league at the end of last season.

As with last week we came out of the traps fast but unlike last week Southampton were intent on playing a similar free and fast running game. We shaded the first 15 or so minutes and were rewarded with a Gavin Adair goal with his touching home a superb ball in from Eds, continued to press but found the opposition keeper in inspired form, making 3 or 4 top class saves.By half time we were 2 - 1 down with Southampton deserving their lead. 2 well finished goals follwoing a period of intense pressure. We could have been furtehr behind but a couple of chances went begging.

As the second half progressed our squad, well marshalled by David Cresswell dominated and it was no surprise when man ofthe match CV finished off one of the moves of a number of seasons that invloved most of our team and saw 3 crisp transfers of the ball from side to side. From here on it seemd as if there would only be one winner as we retained the ball well and snuffed out Southampton's midfield domination that had caused us problems in the first half. Not to be denied though, Southampton looked very dangerous on the break, forced a number of short corners and created chances that they could not take. Trickster made 2 good saves but it was the Southampton keeper who saved the away side a point and denied us 2 more. Perhaps we should have made more of the chances we had and there was a feeling of 2 points lost rather than one gained.

The match ended in controversy but respect to Sean who later held his hand up.

The biggest disappointment of the day was the lack of urgency on some occasions when Cressers called the subs which are called for a reason and at the correct time. The positive side was a good solid performance by new guy Dan Poulson, the Woods and Cato with Nick L putting in an excellent second half after being under pressure in the first and a strong OC second half performance with us taking the game to Southampton.

Arguably we could have nine points out of nine but equally Southampton may have an argument that had they taken a two-goal lead into the second half by converting one of their chances after their second goal they could have gone down the A3 with all three points. David Knapp

Purley Walcountians 2-2 Ladies XI
These days you hear so much about how motivational talks by coaches and managers before a game can inspire a team. With a tricky away game against an unbeaten Purley team everyone waited to hear what words would be used to get us ready - and were promptly told by goalie that he had “no faith” in us (sure we believe you when you claim you just got your words a bit mixed up...).

The opposition were full of fast young players and they used that to their advantage early on to score a breakaway goal. However, instead of letting our heads drop within two minutes we were level, some excellent play down the left-hand side saw the ball eventually break free to Katie in the area who coolly slotted the ball away. From then on we took the game to Purley and put them under immense pressure especially when we used the self-hit rule so effectively getting attacks moving whilst they were still getting organised. Jax was unlucky to hit the post with a shot. Eventually we were rewarded for our hard work a strong drive down the right and into the D by Snoops who crossed for Sarah Mann to score. As Purley looked to get back into the game they worked a quick 1-2 from a short corner and were back level prior to half time.

The second half was close, with both teams having chances, but neither managing to convert them. As the game went on more of the decisions favoured the home team, but everyone shrugged it off and got on with playing their own game. If it hadn't been for an excellent save from the Purley keeper we would have gone ahead. At the back the defensive line of Hels, Rosie, Lucy and Rewa dealt well with a number of Purley short corners which ensured they never got a clear chance from any of them.

Everyone played well and on another day we'd have got all 3 points, but to be truthful a draw was a fair result. Julia Dann


3rd XI 6-2 Teddington Oaks
With an early start to the game and only 11 on the pitch the first five minutes looked as if we had not yet woken up and we were lucky to keep it at 0-0. Nevertheless as the first half progressed we seemed to settle and started putting greater and greater pressure on our very young opposition. This pressure finally paid off with Louis Strover scoring a goal with his normal precision after about 15 minutes. This was quickly followed up by a second scored by Jamal to give us a 2-0 lead. We had our tails up and were really starting to play some great hockey. There were brilliant performances all over the pitch with the defence having a strong performance … with Jock Vickers moving back to sweeper where he is probably most suited, a big welcome back to Abs Janmohamed who really gave us a solidity which we had been missing, CD who seems to have made right back his position after today’s performance and Ollie who had got his focus back having his best game of the season so far. Unfortunately Ollie managed to pull a hamstring midway through the first half, but with the possibility of going down to 10 men he soldiered on. Towards the end of the half Teddington managed to pull a goal back with a slick move that had the defence and myself scratching our heads as to where it had come from. But on the upside we went into halftime with a lead of 2-1 and a confidence that we could go on and achieve our second win of the season.

At halftime we changed our structure to push Ollie up front up in order to protect his hamstring. The second half started well with the midfield staying really strong… Ross also had probably his best game this season, Dougie definitely proved that he is getting back to his very best, Preston despite being out of position made a big difference in the middle as the conduit between defence and attack actually existed today. We were able to put a lot of pressure on the Teddington defence even though their 11 year old keeper was doing some good work (yes I did say 11 year old !!!), They could not hold out forever and our latest makeshift attacker Ollie was able to take our lead up to 3-1. We did experience a number of scares and Teddington did get the score back to 3-2 with a well taken short corner. At this point Teddington did push hard and caught us out a couple of times but with a combination of well timed tackles by various members of the defence and a couple of saves from myself (even if I do say so!) we were able to maintain our lead. However eventually Louis was able to craft a 4th for us and at 4-2 we didn’t really look back. Before the end Jamal was able to add his second and Preston was able to slot a well deserved goal to make our tally 6. It has to be said that this was a great all round team effort as we concentrated on playing our game and used our experience to get the better of a very young, fit and skilful Teddington. I am extremely chuffed as, even whilst I don’t wish to admit this, having captained the side for a year and this being the start of my second season it was the first time that the team had won while I was playing. I personally blame the keeper!!! Hopefully we won’t have to wait so long for the second. Nigel "At Last A Winner" Hawes

Old Georgians 1-7 4th XI
This week, Mrs Amy Oxo provided the team with OC orange cup cakes after their match against the Old Georgians. The cup cake, like the 4th team, is having a bit of a resurgence. Back in the 80s they were very cool, but they have been overlooked for the last couple of decades. In 2009 they are definitely back.

The cup cake is sometimes known as a fairy cake. But there were no fairies on the pitch in Weybridge this week ... well other than the ever camp Harmer (maverick) and Archer (iceman). Both of whom had been caught singing to Girls Aloud on the journey to the pitch (Boyzone had been taken from the cd player out of respect).

The cup cake is made of flour, sugar and butter. The solid formation of the cupcake is provided by the flour. The central formation of the 4th team, Smith, Crumby and Harmer, Shakir started the game on a strong foot. With driving runs through the middle, one of which lead to a trademark roof breaker by Jemal to open up the scoring. It all goes it bit hazy after this point, I know Shakir got another 2, Bishop 1 and Dom 1, the others I forget.... - at half time it was 6-1

Any chef will tell you, if you want to make anything taste better, just add a bit more butter. And this is what the OCs did during the second half. By adding another goal to the tally from.....again I forget. With the Old Georgians rallying, it nearly felt as if they had more players on the pitch.

The sweetness of the cupcake is provided by the sugar. Our sugar daddies of Kevin, Crumby and Archer stood strong through the second half where Old Georgians started to make a number of attacks. Particular mention should go to Kevin for some fantastic tackles when he was the last man standing.

The final score stood at 7-1 and we move into a strong fourth position in the league. During post-match chat our captain this week, Grant Archer was overheard making reference to Diego Maradona's foul mouth tirade this week. "Today we are in the 4th place in the league, with help from nobody but with honour. To all of you who did not believe in us, and I apologise to all the women here, you can eat my cup cake and keep on eating." Mark Oxbrough Harmer, you're fired


HAC 2-5 Veterans
OC Vets followed up the glory of their "never-say-die" victory at Tring last week with an emphatic win away to HAC on an enjoyable afternoon played in great spirit in leafy Dulwich. This performance probably lacked the ‘derring-do / Guns of Navarone’ quality of the Tring triumph but was probably a more impressive overall performance. The outcome was never seriously in doubt and each time that HAC threatened to climb back into the match OCs found another gear and, more importantly, another goal. The 5-2 scoreline1 did not flatter the away side and this against a decent HAC side.

Graced by the classy and tireless Howie and the ever-menacing and powerful Gavin Rowlands this Vets performance was built around a strong midfield performance, the ball moving well through the middle of the pitch courtesy of another impressive display from Tommy ‘what-no-hat-trick-this-week’ Trinder. As ever the most effective passing proved to be the short ball in and out of the flanks and Jon Gray once again proved his worth, ever-dangerous down the right. At half-time OCs led 2-0, the second being a classic ‘fox-in-the-box’ effort from the sparkling Stuart Slemen following the all-important first goal, a short-range thwack by Tony Jones created by a neat pass from the aforesaid Slemen, surely a classic case of ‘poacher turned goal-maker’. . Jury service is clearly agreeing with him!

Half-time was interesting. Wade Pollard umpiring clearly had a plane to catch because he reduced the interval to just a few seconds. The shortened break proved long enough however for the HAC to neck a bottle of champagne between them – a magnificent moment and one that perhaps contributed to a level playing field given that a number of the OC team, having arrived rather earlier than expected, had ‘warmed up’ for the big occasion by getting comfy over a pint!

The second half was a roller-coaster. A powerful penalty corner strike from Andy Loates was deflected by Gavin to extend the lead, HAC nicked one back only for Andy Loates to touch a pass in after we had moved the ball around with four passes from a short corner to restore the three-goal cushion with a well taken goal. The team was served well at the back by Loates and Speers and Matt Olley in goal didn’t put a foot wrong notwithstanding the lack of clean sheet. In truth HAC’s second goal was the pick of the match, a Maradona style run half the pitch from their centre forward before a crisp finish that left our keeper no chance. We went immediately down the other end to seal the match with our 5th when Gavin Rowlands scored his second from a well worked short corner involving wall passes off defenders shins. Messrs Butcher and Eve meanwhile patrolled the left hand side to great effect. We even had the luxury of Osborn came off the bench in the second half to dazzle and help rub salt into HAC wounds.

We left the match in good spirits but with insufficient time for most of us to enjoy a post-match beer at the Greyhound, the lure of the evening Quins Toulouse game accounting for much of the team, another victory for an away side, but this one an unwanted result and no doubt reduced the OC Quins contingent to a bout of beer-based consolation! And anyway we can all reflect on a very satisfying afternoon’s hockey. It is official, OC Vets are now an a winning streak. David Burles

Match reports - February 28, 2009

A good day all round with wins for all but the 3rd XI, with the highlight being the Ladies’ 3-1 victory over Teddington, our first win in more than four months. The 1st XI eased past Cheam 5-0, the 2nd XI beat Walton & Weybridge 2-1 and the 4th XI edged out Teddington 1-0. The 3rd XI’s miserable campaign continued with a 0-5 loss at NPL

Click here for this week's photos


Cheam 0-5 1st XI
We set out to obtain three points with a healthy win, win short corners and keep a clean sheet all of which were achieved. Cheam had surprised us all last week with a 0-0 draw against our nemesis, Bank of England so were not to be taken lightly.

With a settled side, save the unfortunate Nick Lewis who has a long time on the side lines following his brush with a plate glass door, we took the game to Cheam with Jonny Hunter impressive - again - in the deeper of the central-midfield roles and the instigator of most of our early openings. The pitch was a little skiddy and although we scored after about 10 minutes when one of Cookiey's famous reverse stick shots somehow looped over the keeper and ran over the line. The goal at that stage was a deserved return for constant pressure. For the remainder of the half we spent most of the time in the Cheam half without creating any clear chances but instead flailed at bouncil balls with any goal bound efforts handled capably by the keeper. Our 6 short corners came to nought but there was one of the Alexander exocets that the Cheam defence knew little about even though they kept it out. Cheam did look competent on the break so a 1-0 half time scoreline was never going to be enough.

Ten minutes into the second half we notched our second following more pressure play, forcing a short that Nick Woods tucked away after a somewhat unorthodox routine. We had learnt from our first half performance and were spreading the ball wide and up the lines. The third came soon after as another short was converted by Knapp followed by one of the moves of the season and one that has been 14 years coming ! Cheam's only short of the match ( they were unlucky not to be awarded at least two others ) was capably dealt with by our solid defence, played out left, picked up by Knapp, swept up the line, a sumptuous dummy by Wobble to Gavin who laid it on a plate for Rory to slot home. 10 seconds from one end to the other.

Our final goal was from our final short and a wicked flick from Jonny Hunter capping another good performance save the harsh yellow for his first and only foul in the three games he has played for us.

This was a good second half performance on the back of a scratchy first period and one that adds to our goal difference that could be crucial at the end of the season.

Unfortunately no Hunter or Valentine next week but James Wood returns and there will be a recall for Ed Breton having served his time. David Knapp


2nd XI 2-1 Walton & Weybridge Hawks
Given the records of the two sides, this was never likely to be a goal-fest and so it proved, but at least we did enough to banish memories of last week’s loss at Wanderers. Walton may be bottom but they are far from pushovers and they gave us a tough workout. We played far more controlled hockey, Heard, Stephens, Khurshid, Breton and Grimes combining well in some slick moves but chances were not plentiful. Despite dominating the first half we went behind three minutes from the break when a short corner squeezed under the keeper from what was Walton’s first real shot of the game. We started the second half with more purpose, Breton causing problems and stretching the Walton defence, although winning short corners was hardly advantageous, so poor was our routine. We drew level when a neat ball from Breton was well converted by Preston Rutt, and seven minutes from time he scored the winner from close range after some sloppy defending. Our best hockey followed as we stretched Walton’s defence as they pressed for the equaliser, and Breton contrived to fire wide from five yards to tarnish an otherwise good performance.

NPL 5-0 3rd XI
Report to follow.

4th XI 1-0 Teddington
Teddington might be bottom but they gave us an entertaining and enjoyable match. On another day we could have won by a hatful of goals, on this one we could have even been held to a draw. With more subs than the Russian navy, the comings and goings, especially in the second half, undermined our continuity and for the last quarter of the game we were on the backfoot. The one goal came from Steve Harmer who rifled in a strike from ten yards eight minutes into the second half, and Harmer soon after cleared Teddington’s best chance with a overhead tennis smash from a goalbound shot.

Ladies 3-1 Richmond
With new aerodynamic shirts the ladies were feeling confident of a win on saturday. Looking exceedingly smart we took to the pitch to play Richmond, the only team we hadn't played yet this season.

We started well and were in control of the match from the start,passing the ball around and distributing well from the backs of Ros, Rosie, Tux and Rewa. Within 10 minutes however we saw our first casualty of the match as Caz on the right Wing tweaked her medial knee ligament, an injury she has been battling with since November. Reinforcements were at hand in the form of May who had made her usual late appearance having gotten lost on the way to the pitch.........(we were playing at home....) May subbed on for Caz and within minutes was using her pace to aggrevate the Richmond defence and along with Dora putting pressure on the Richmond GK who we suspected was a stand in and not their regular keeps. We had plenty of shots on target and the GK did a great job of keeping them out but before long we broke the deadlock and from some quick passing Dora managed to put the ball away. We were 1-0 up and the first time we had taken the lead in a match since I can remember this season!!!! Still only 1 goal up and still a long way to go we new it was far from over and kept pressing hard. Richmond defended well and caught us several times on the break. At one point Ros being last in line to take a loose player on a break was passed by the player leaving a one on one with Steph in goal, but somehow Ros managed to get back and get a crucial touch on the ball to clear it and prevent a likely equaliser. Before long we thought we had another injury as Dora received an elbow in the face from her opposing player, but managed to regroup and play on. We conceeded a couple of shorts but so did they.We we were the first to capitalise on this as a shot from Nina as right slip was deflected by the keeps into a circle of OC players all waiting like vultures to finsh off. After several more deflections it was eventually Viks that managed to secure our 2nd goal to take us 2-0 up. It looked like we would go into half time in the driving seat until a short blown right on the half time whistle was converted by Richmond to keep them well in touch in the game and we went into half time 2-1 up.

We were not going to let this win get away from us and took to the field in the second half, the midfield of Manny, Viks, Nina, Jax and Liz as usual were working their socks off with Liza and Mez subbing up front and in the defence to provide fresh legs to run around a Richmond side with no subs.Steph I recall made a crucial save 15 minuites in but apart from that was not really challenged. Eventually a match securing goal came for us in the form of a super strike from Manny taking us 3-1 up which Richmond were never going to come back from. A couple more shorts each end but no more goals. The match finished 3-1 a very long time coming, much deserved win for the OC ladies! The new shirts did their job and hopefully if we keep up our hard work our luck will finally have changed. Although we are still bottom we are by no means down and out and a winning streak that we are more than capable of could see us to safety. Come on the ladies!!!!! Thanks to Martin and the Richmond Umps who did a great job. Thanks to the pregnant possy on the side and Snoops and the boys for their support! Jackie Waite

Match reports - October 18, 2008

Another generally good week with a comprehensive win for the 1st XI over Walton & Weybridge Hawks (who have as much affinity to Walton or Weybridge as MK Dons do to Wimbledon) to go top; the 2nd XI beat a feisty/moaning UCL Academicals 2-1, while the 4th XI saw off a feisty/physical Barnes Beavers 5-3. The Ladies came back from Battersea with a 1-0 win over Wanderers, while the only blot was the 3rd XI’s 1-5 thumping by a classy Leatherhead side.


1st XI 4-0 Walton & Weybridge
Click here for match photos
After their previous results we expected a tough game against Walton and Weybridge, our nemesis two years ago. Ultimately our fears were unfounded after a clinical performance with a very effective second half in which we stifled the opponents.

We welcome Trickster Smith in goal after his outstanding performance last week at TD for the seconds and for the second week running he kept a clean sheet albeit with little to do other than in the last couple of minutes.

Walton had difficulties in picking our system early on but it was when David Cresswell changed the formation by putting Ed B in front of the back three that we began to create most of our chances. As so often the case we did not make our short corners count until Gavin Adair picked up a rebound from one and finished with aplomb to score what he described as the all important goal. 1 - 0 at half time became 2 - 0 after half time when Gavin's run opened up the Walton defence allowing Paul Acutt time and space to finish well with a dipping shot. We now began to dominate completely with the back four soaking up whatever was thrown at them, Ed B bringing the ball out of the back with good effect and Cato buzzing around in is usual way. As the game wore on we created a great deal more and could have scored on a number of occasions before Cookiey clipped home our third. We rode out our bad spell without allowing Walton any clear openings on goal with Trickster's one touch coming from a sharp free hit and deflection that came through a crowd of players but was dealt with in an effective and efficient way.

One minute remained on the clock as Nick Lewis finished off a well-worked move starting in the right corner of our half when Ed B beat two and slipped the ball up the line to CB, who fed Gavin, whose cross field pass found Nick in the clear, whose shot from the top of the D rattled the side board.

An efficient performance with Duffy the Man of the Match and a game that saw us missing Rippers, Bruce and Pies. Next week we are light of Pies, Lewis, Duffy, Trickster and Cato but such is our depth that we will be able to fill the gaps with selection becoming interesting when everyone is available. David Knapp




Wanderers 0-1 Ladies XI
Saturday saw us playing away against Wanderer’s 3’s. They had come down from the premier league and were joint top of our league, not having lost a match yet, so we were ready for a tough match! Our bench was loaded with subs so we went out hard knowing we had fresh legs available, and for the first 15 minutes the match looked pretty even with neither team really having any real chances on goal. We were playing well keeping possession, stepping up to the ball with some good attacking play which eventually won us a penalty corner. We failed to do much with it but only five minutes later a lightning quick run from May down the right side had Wanderers on the back foot. She passed it to Jax in the circle. The keeper went down and Jax pushed it passed her towards the bottom right-hand corner with May following it up and making sure it went in. We were 1-0 up after 15 minutes. We knew Wanderers were a good side so were by no means complacent. We continued to play hard with lots of subs to allow us to keep the pace high and rest when we needed. The midfield of Gayle, Vikki, Steph and Caz were doing a great job of supporting each other and passing the ball around with Tux having a stormer as centre back/centre forward, mopping up any loose balls and driving forwards, playing high and pressurising the Wanderers forwards. We held onto our lead at half time.

The second half again was evenly matched with both teams having some good attacking moments with Gayle, Sarah H and Nikki all seeing near misses and forcing the oppo to defend hard. At the same time Wanderers were fast on the break which saw our defence of Rosie, Lucy and Tux having to work hard to get back and cover and Muriel as sweeper having to step in and make some brilliant interceptions. The umpires both of whom supplied by Wanderers were firm but fair and I have to say many decisions seemed to go our way – which makes a change!!!! About half way through the second half we conceded our first and only penalty corner (again which makes a change from the previous matches!). Rosie running No. 1 and fearless (many may say kamikaze) as ever intercepted the strike and and Tux cleared the ball and the danger, for the time being was over. We were aware how close the game was and were keen to get another goal to secure the win. Our forwards of Nina, Liza and Snoops were working hard with lots of movement and supporting play when attacking but then also pegging it back to defend the Wanderers defence now playing high. With 10 minutes to go we nearly lost our lead, another break from Wanderer’s and saw us defending hard in our circle, Steph in goal having to pull off a save and the defence clearing an onslaught of shots from the oppo. We managed to scrabble the ball to safety and for the last five minutes the play was pretty much end to end with those on the side line barely able to watch as we hung on to our lead and secure a good 1-0 win which sees us climb to 4th in the league, and also makes us the only unbeaten team ……..not that I want to jinx us………..Well done ladies a well deserved three points! Jackie Waite


2nd XI 2-1 UCL Academicals 2
It is perhaps positive that despite beating one of the top sides in our league, who the previous week had put six goals past Merton, there was a collective disappointment at the end of the game.

The opposition started strongly and it was a good five minutes before we managed to string some passages of play together and give ourselves some breathing space. UCL generally played three men high which kept the back four busy throughout. When they weren't quite as high they also looked dangerous on the break. Whilst we defended well, aided by some good saves by Mike Norrington, we struggled to get the ball away at 16s - as UCL pressed right up the pitch. Andy Selby replaced Dodie in the middle at the back and grew into the role throughout, making some good tackles and growing more comfortable on the ball.

When we strung together passages of short passes we looked dangerous - Neil Grimes and Chris Porter picking up where they had left off the previous week - linking up well. Chris Tiss and in particular Chris Valentine began to cause their defence some trouble and a good run through by the latter created the first goal, a converted deflection of the post by the former. The pressure form UCL did not relent and eventually Mike was drawn out from goal to make a save. Rob Merry had sagged in to cover and was unable to prevent a shot from coming off his foot. The result was an undisputed penalty flick and slightly more controversial yellow card. As the skipper departed UCL slotted their penalty flick. 1-1 with a tricky 10 minutes before half-time...

We regathered whilst we had 10 men but were still under constant pressure. At half time we talked about getting strong on the ball, keeping our structure and keeping the passes short. Unfortunately the opposite was true for most of the second half. Ironically it was a crisply struck long ball from Tom Merry and an equally crisply hit strike from the top of the D by Bruce McNeil that broke the deadlock.

Some of the structure was lost by the changes necessitated by our two rolling subs. Unfortunately we then descended into some of the indiscipline that we saw in the friendly. Constantly questioning umpiring decisions and berating team-mates rather than concentrating playing hockey. However, there was no lack of effort and we eventually managed to see out the game, despite a very tense last minute with UCL in our D.

They say that the sign of a good team is to win even when not playing well - we have a stronger squad than last year, bolstered by some new comers, and we should be confident in improving our performances, whilst maintaining the winning habit. Out thanks go to Martin for umpiring and Dave Cresswell for turning up to the game and coaching. Rob Merry




3rd XI 1-5 Leatherhead
Firstly I would like a apologise if my memory is a little hazey (I blame Nige for letting me know after the game that I was writing the match report) . When we arrived I think we were all shocked to hear that we had 16 players, some who I won’t name (Ollie) looked a even more relieved than the others as he was suffering from a serious hangover. This week we had a tough fixture playing Leatherhead who had not lost point so far in the season.

The game started with Leatherhead moving the ball very nicely. Our defence - Tim, Stu and Stefano - all putting their fair share of tackles in. We were not passing the ball as well as them and only had a few breaks. With mounting pressure we conceded. Leatherhead came straight back at us and soon slotted a second. After this a change in midfield we started to move the ball, with Preston holding the ball up well and Rich Dave making some good runs.

Unfortunately we let in another couple before half time, with two goals that left Nige helpless, and Nige unfortunately injured his ankle on the stroke of half-time. I remember a shout coming from the sidelines “Stu, Nige is down can you give him a hand you can’t miss him, he is that big orange thing lying on the ground”.

With obviously another good team talk, we looked like a different team. The midfield held strong by Rory distributing the ball to CD, Armo and Chaz. This led to opportunities. We eventually got a short corner. Rory finished is well with a good strike pass the keeper right hand side, but Leatherhead continued to move the ball round well and slotted a fifth past the crocked Nige near the end.

“We would be doing much better in the league if it was only the second half that counted towards the result,” observed the captain at the end. Chris Bents

Barnes Beavers 3-5 4th XI
Dear reader, hot footing it back from its fitness training camp in the UAE, Harmer’s column has returned to bring you the highlights of the Mighty 4th team’s frightening and bruising encounter from the Surrey Open League this week. Frightening and bruising, why is that? You may ask. Well let me tell you dear reader, there is nothing as frightening as a bleach blonde or muscular shaved beaver going straight through you at pace and knocking you backwards on your arse. Just ask Robin Crumby or Grant Archer.

Most of you will know that I am talking about our second least favourite team in the
league, that’s right the pink clad Barnes Beavers. For those that have not played them before their players fit into two categories either they are muscular, aggressive, heavy set, bald bruisers. Alternatively and this only really applies to their centre forwards, they are bleach blonde midgets with an alarming orange aura (poorly applied San Tropez tans) and seem to be closely related, if you get my drift. We nicknamed this pair of prats ‘The X Factor rejects’ but that’s probably being too kind!

Our previous encounter with the Beavers at Dukes Meadow in Chiswick back in 2006 was christened ‘The Battle of the Duck Poo Pitch’ which was due to some genius pumping Thames river water onto the water based pitch, it had become a rancid, algae infested surface from which Captain Dom’s white shorts have never quite recovered. As you can imagine the Mighty 4ths were looking forward to playing on this pitch as much Guy Richie used to look forward to his macrobiotic dinners and kabala sessions with Madonna. Thankfully a new pitch has been laid we all looked forward to another dazzling encounter at Dukes Meadow.

As per normal the OC pre-match preparation was fraught as a number of players struggled to find the pitch in time but thanks to Helen Hawes AtoZ, Nick Aston and our new recruits Seb and Richard found the pitch. Special mention has to be made to Robin Crumby who was admitted to hospital last Sunday with a serious kidney infection, spent most of the week in bed but not only turned up to play this week but cycled from Wimbledon to Chiswick to do so. What commitment to the cause you will cry out loud and we all cried on the pitch ‘Robin Crumby….what a guy!’. Alas there is always one cock-up and no one cocks-up more that Bertie ‘Don’t blame the credit crunch on me’ Bance with his cryptic e-mail to our beloved captain regarding his match availability. However that, as they say, ‘Is a story for another time’.

As you can imagine with the Barnes Beavers lining up, OC players arriving late, a poor warm-up and a very bouncy pitch to boot, we were all a little nervous. We needed a secret weapon, we needed someone we could get behind, and we needed a hero to show us the way. Come’ith the moment, come’ith the man. Now some say, that he keeps his aging body supple by sleeping at night like Madonna in a plastic airtight body bag and covering himself in an anti aging cream worth £500 a pot. Others suggest that his lighting reflexes come from intensive training with Bruce Lee and when he lifts his stick to strike the ball, it is energized by the ‘Power of Grayskull’ itself. Frankly, we don’t believe in any of that crap but all that we do know is that his name is Louis Strover and he is a GOAL SCORING MACHINE! Blessed with the presence, muscle, ball retention and lay offs of Emile Heskey but thankfully with a nose for goal like Wayne Rooney, we knew we would have the upper hand. It was time to bash some beaver!

Now dear reader enough of the foreplay and lets strip off these well crafted pros and get into the action. For the first 10 minutes after the pushback the OC’s struggled to find a rhythm as the new water base proved to be a bouncy as Jodie Kidd’s chest in Strictly Come Dancing. With limited ball retention we struggled to control the quick moving beavers from trying to get round the back of us and pounding our box with crosses. It could have been suggested that Grant Archer (our left back) was struggling somewhat, as the birth of his first child ‘Bethan’ has caused him to drop his four hour a day Madonna-styled fitness sessions. Grant would argue that he has never been fit, so two weeks of sleep deprivation has made no impact on his at all.
Just as the OC’s started to find rhythm and ball control a breaking beaver streaked down the right flank and unleashed a cross that our defence was just unable to repel. One of the X factor rejects, let’s call him Gareth, nipped in at the back post to push one past Nige. At one down we did not panic and got back to the job in hand, in fact it almost acted as a spur for our team. As the midfield four started to find their feet the passes began to flow like wine and soon we were running like a well oiled engine. Smooth interplay down the right and left wings started to ask questions of the Beaver’s back line which frankly they did not want to answer. Before long, the beavers cracked and gave away a penalty; the resulting short corner saw slick interplay between Strover and Oxo, which ended up with Louis firmly striking the ball at the goal which pounded the back board. At 1-1, we started to take the Beavers apart and it was not long till Louis got his second after some sweet passing between Seb and Richard gave him space at the top of the D. Before half time we got our third with a cross that skimmed the goal line from the left which found Captain Dom unmarked who swept it into the goal.

So at half time, the Mighty 4th’s were on the front foot and the Beaver’s were fuming and frustrated at being placed firmly on the back one. At the start of the second half it was clear that the beaver half time talk concluded that they needed to take the battle to us by fair means or foul. They obviously chose foul as they attempted to intimidate us physically but dear reader the fourth team are not Sunday School teachers and we taught the beavers as lesson in focused aggression. While the OC back line of Nick Aston, Crumby, Archer and Harmer were dumped frequently on there bottoms by Beavers trying to bash there way through us. All that happened was that the defence released the ball to the midfield who powered up the pitch. On one such occasion the ball was released by Archer, to Oxo, who slipped it into the middle to Seb, who in turned released it to Strover who found Richard with a short pass on the left wing. As Richard showed a clean pair of heals to the Beaver right back, Strover made way into the D. An inch perfect pass from Richard gave Louis the time to turn and strike the ball past the petrified keeper.

Our fifth and final goal came from a similar break down the left with Oxo and Harmer displaying some great interplay that ended with a ball being caressed into the D to find the ever present Strover lurching behind a bald beaver. You know what happened next and it just ended up with the Beavers becoming more frustrated. The ball obliterated the back board and we did not only have daylight but frankly a whole lunar cycle between the Beavers and us.

In the final 10 minutes the Beavers resorted to pounding our D with long range passes for their forwards to run onto which our defence of Nick, Robin and Grant dealt with showing grace and aplomb. Even though both Archer and Cumby were upended by both the of X-Factor duo after they realised they could not win the ball so tried to go through our defensive line. It started to get nasty and the Beavers brought out their handbags to take out their frustration out through limp wristed aggression. Although they pulled two goals back in the second half we knew that we were home dry even with Robin Crumby attempting to do a decent impression of an Ashley Cole back pass by playing in beautifully one of the tango tanned twosome. Thankfully the hockey gods were smiling on Old Apple Crumble as Grant dived to save the Beaver’s shot and managed to step on the ball, which stopped play for a short corner. Crumby although relieved held his head low and wished the pitch opened up and pulled him beneath to escape his team mates demanding ‘Why did you do that?’

At the final whistle we had dispatched and bashed the Beavers 5-3 in a match that we all felt proud to have played in. More importantly we had learnt that if you want to bash a beaver use a Strover and Madonna is one weird lady! Led by Captain Dom this victory lifts us into second place in the league with a game in hand. The ginger revolution marches on! Next week Staines. Steve Harmer

Harmer signs off with a curry

As he prepared to ride off into the cyber sunset, outgoing 4th XI captain Steve Harmer sent the following message to his men

After an up and down season I can now confirm that we finished seventh in our league, which to be honest is probably a true reflection of our performance this season. Yet again we managed to play very well and beat a number of the leading teams but let the poorer teams bring our standard of play down.

However, we had some memorable moments which I am sure we will recount at the end of season curry. Grant should be confirming which date we are going for in the near future (11th May or 25th May). For those that went to the end of season dinner, I understand from Sophie (as I have memory loss) that I did a speech that rambled somewhat so that I hope it did not spoil your evening too much! Congrats to Nige Hawes who was awarded 4th team player of the season on the night - however, due to Crumby demanding a recount of the official figures Grant will be assessing the official votes over the next few weeks in time for the curry. Prepare yourselves for a few Pie Charts and Line Graphs detailing your efforts throughout the season!

And finally, as you may know/have seen by CD's e-mail, Dom has now officially taken over as captain with able assistance from Grant Archer and Bertie Bance. Please give Dom and the guys all the support they need over the coming season.

Also for your interest CD as stepped down as Club Captain and David Knapp has taken over the role. I am sure we would all like to thank CD for his tireless efforts over the last few years as he has turned the club around. We wish Knappy the best of luck in his new role. Many thanks and see you at the curry.