Oxo bids farewell with stirring win

Bob Dylan’s Neverending Tour has been on the road since the late 1980s, and it must seem to the 4th XI the current season has been nearly as long. With two matches still remaining it is likely to overlap with the early rounds of the summer leagues.

But Saturday’s 4-3 win over Surbiton marked the end of the career of Oxo as he leaves for Australian during the summer. Slightly worrying, given where he is heading to, is his opening line ...

4th XI 4-3 Surbiton

Blimey it was hot.

The 4th team found themselves tasked with playing the recently promoted Surbiton on a hot and arid Saturday in Thames Ditton. As a kangaroo hopped by, and dingo climbed out of a nearby billabong the whistle went to start the game.

Surbiton were ‘strong’ to say the least and the OCs found themselves 2-0 down after 20mins. Their honouree captain Oxo had been slightly less than inspiring in centre forward. However, he showed himself to be a mastermind of tactical play as within moments of sacrificing himself to the bench Dom scored to put the OCs back in the running, and 2-1 at half time.

The first 25mins of the second half were a whirlwind of goals. First a goal from Bents, followed by one from Surbiton, then one from Ado brought the score to a tense 3-3. The OCs can be proud to have kept their heads at this point, especially in the searing heat. Lesser players would have lost it slightly.

Dressed as if he had just sailed back from the south of France an apparition in white and khaki appeared at the sideline throwing insults in all directions. Sporting a ‘hello sailor’ look rather than his usual ‘nurse harmer’ attire – Captain Harmer appeared at the sideline to offer ‘support’. Using ingenious reverse psychology, he ensured every OC player got a suitable sledging.

And then a breakthrough. Bents, apparently spurred on by the news there was an all girls hockey tournament taking place at Surbiton’s home ground (we should point out here it was an Under-10s event, but that might have been known by Bents already), decided to finish things off. It was once again the old faithful of the fourth team – Howy, Trinder, Ado and Bents linking up to bring the score to 4-3.

Most of the attacking in the final 5 minutes was in the direction of Jonker, who had kindly offered to umpire the second half. For the author, after 6 years of playing for the OCs it was a shame to finish with toys thoroughly thrown out of prams. Although it was great to win. As the final whistle went, OCs took the win graciously – and with cake.

As the sun dropped below the burnt orange horizon, pints of fosters could be heard clinking in celebration of a fine season and a fine team.

Goals at the bottom end, draws at the top

The 1st XI were held 2-2 by Southampton in a cracking game, while the Ladies also held Purley by the same scoreline. There were goals galore at the bottom end of the club - the 3rd XI had the novel experience of handing out a drubbing as they thrashed Teddington 6-1, while the 4th XI made it 13 goals in two weeks with a 7-1 rout at Old Georgians. The Vets beat HAC 5-02, but the 2nd XI's woes continued as they went down 0-5 to the same opposition.


1st XI 2-2 Southampton 1
The hard work to achieve promotion and regenerate our first team was made all worth while when playing in games like that against Southampton on Saturday. We knew that they are going to be the side to beat this year being a young and efficient team and a large club. Indeed it was Southampton who condemned us to the drop 5 years ago and from all accounts were unlucky not to be in the A division of the league at the end of last season.

As with last week we came out of the traps fast but unlike last week Southampton were intent on playing a similar free and fast running game. We shaded the first 15 or so minutes and were rewarded with a Gavin Adair goal with his touching home a superb ball in from Eds, continued to press but found the opposition keeper in inspired form, making 3 or 4 top class saves.By half time we were 2 - 1 down with Southampton deserving their lead. 2 well finished goals follwoing a period of intense pressure. We could have been furtehr behind but a couple of chances went begging.

As the second half progressed our squad, well marshalled by David Cresswell dominated and it was no surprise when man ofthe match CV finished off one of the moves of a number of seasons that invloved most of our team and saw 3 crisp transfers of the ball from side to side. From here on it seemd as if there would only be one winner as we retained the ball well and snuffed out Southampton's midfield domination that had caused us problems in the first half. Not to be denied though, Southampton looked very dangerous on the break, forced a number of short corners and created chances that they could not take. Trickster made 2 good saves but it was the Southampton keeper who saved the away side a point and denied us 2 more. Perhaps we should have made more of the chances we had and there was a feeling of 2 points lost rather than one gained.

The match ended in controversy but respect to Sean who later held his hand up.

The biggest disappointment of the day was the lack of urgency on some occasions when Cressers called the subs which are called for a reason and at the correct time. The positive side was a good solid performance by new guy Dan Poulson, the Woods and Cato with Nick L putting in an excellent second half after being under pressure in the first and a strong OC second half performance with us taking the game to Southampton.

Arguably we could have nine points out of nine but equally Southampton may have an argument that had they taken a two-goal lead into the second half by converting one of their chances after their second goal they could have gone down the A3 with all three points. David Knapp

Purley Walcountians 2-2 Ladies XI
These days you hear so much about how motivational talks by coaches and managers before a game can inspire a team. With a tricky away game against an unbeaten Purley team everyone waited to hear what words would be used to get us ready - and were promptly told by goalie that he had “no faith” in us (sure we believe you when you claim you just got your words a bit mixed up...).

The opposition were full of fast young players and they used that to their advantage early on to score a breakaway goal. However, instead of letting our heads drop within two minutes we were level, some excellent play down the left-hand side saw the ball eventually break free to Katie in the area who coolly slotted the ball away. From then on we took the game to Purley and put them under immense pressure especially when we used the self-hit rule so effectively getting attacks moving whilst they were still getting organised. Jax was unlucky to hit the post with a shot. Eventually we were rewarded for our hard work a strong drive down the right and into the D by Snoops who crossed for Sarah Mann to score. As Purley looked to get back into the game they worked a quick 1-2 from a short corner and were back level prior to half time.

The second half was close, with both teams having chances, but neither managing to convert them. As the game went on more of the decisions favoured the home team, but everyone shrugged it off and got on with playing their own game. If it hadn't been for an excellent save from the Purley keeper we would have gone ahead. At the back the defensive line of Hels, Rosie, Lucy and Rewa dealt well with a number of Purley short corners which ensured they never got a clear chance from any of them.

Everyone played well and on another day we'd have got all 3 points, but to be truthful a draw was a fair result. Julia Dann


3rd XI 6-2 Teddington Oaks
With an early start to the game and only 11 on the pitch the first five minutes looked as if we had not yet woken up and we were lucky to keep it at 0-0. Nevertheless as the first half progressed we seemed to settle and started putting greater and greater pressure on our very young opposition. This pressure finally paid off with Louis Strover scoring a goal with his normal precision after about 15 minutes. This was quickly followed up by a second scored by Jamal to give us a 2-0 lead. We had our tails up and were really starting to play some great hockey. There were brilliant performances all over the pitch with the defence having a strong performance … with Jock Vickers moving back to sweeper where he is probably most suited, a big welcome back to Abs Janmohamed who really gave us a solidity which we had been missing, CD who seems to have made right back his position after today’s performance and Ollie who had got his focus back having his best game of the season so far. Unfortunately Ollie managed to pull a hamstring midway through the first half, but with the possibility of going down to 10 men he soldiered on. Towards the end of the half Teddington managed to pull a goal back with a slick move that had the defence and myself scratching our heads as to where it had come from. But on the upside we went into halftime with a lead of 2-1 and a confidence that we could go on and achieve our second win of the season.

At halftime we changed our structure to push Ollie up front up in order to protect his hamstring. The second half started well with the midfield staying really strong… Ross also had probably his best game this season, Dougie definitely proved that he is getting back to his very best, Preston despite being out of position made a big difference in the middle as the conduit between defence and attack actually existed today. We were able to put a lot of pressure on the Teddington defence even though their 11 year old keeper was doing some good work (yes I did say 11 year old !!!), They could not hold out forever and our latest makeshift attacker Ollie was able to take our lead up to 3-1. We did experience a number of scares and Teddington did get the score back to 3-2 with a well taken short corner. At this point Teddington did push hard and caught us out a couple of times but with a combination of well timed tackles by various members of the defence and a couple of saves from myself (even if I do say so!) we were able to maintain our lead. However eventually Louis was able to craft a 4th for us and at 4-2 we didn’t really look back. Before the end Jamal was able to add his second and Preston was able to slot a well deserved goal to make our tally 6. It has to be said that this was a great all round team effort as we concentrated on playing our game and used our experience to get the better of a very young, fit and skilful Teddington. I am extremely chuffed as, even whilst I don’t wish to admit this, having captained the side for a year and this being the start of my second season it was the first time that the team had won while I was playing. I personally blame the keeper!!! Hopefully we won’t have to wait so long for the second. Nigel "At Last A Winner" Hawes

Old Georgians 1-7 4th XI
This week, Mrs Amy Oxo provided the team with OC orange cup cakes after their match against the Old Georgians. The cup cake, like the 4th team, is having a bit of a resurgence. Back in the 80s they were very cool, but they have been overlooked for the last couple of decades. In 2009 they are definitely back.

The cup cake is sometimes known as a fairy cake. But there were no fairies on the pitch in Weybridge this week ... well other than the ever camp Harmer (maverick) and Archer (iceman). Both of whom had been caught singing to Girls Aloud on the journey to the pitch (Boyzone had been taken from the cd player out of respect).

The cup cake is made of flour, sugar and butter. The solid formation of the cupcake is provided by the flour. The central formation of the 4th team, Smith, Crumby and Harmer, Shakir started the game on a strong foot. With driving runs through the middle, one of which lead to a trademark roof breaker by Jemal to open up the scoring. It all goes it bit hazy after this point, I know Shakir got another 2, Bishop 1 and Dom 1, the others I forget.... - at half time it was 6-1

Any chef will tell you, if you want to make anything taste better, just add a bit more butter. And this is what the OCs did during the second half. By adding another goal to the tally from.....again I forget. With the Old Georgians rallying, it nearly felt as if they had more players on the pitch.

The sweetness of the cupcake is provided by the sugar. Our sugar daddies of Kevin, Crumby and Archer stood strong through the second half where Old Georgians started to make a number of attacks. Particular mention should go to Kevin for some fantastic tackles when he was the last man standing.

The final score stood at 7-1 and we move into a strong fourth position in the league. During post-match chat our captain this week, Grant Archer was overheard making reference to Diego Maradona's foul mouth tirade this week. "Today we are in the 4th place in the league, with help from nobody but with honour. To all of you who did not believe in us, and I apologise to all the women here, you can eat my cup cake and keep on eating." Mark Oxbrough Harmer, you're fired


HAC 2-5 Veterans
OC Vets followed up the glory of their "never-say-die" victory at Tring last week with an emphatic win away to HAC on an enjoyable afternoon played in great spirit in leafy Dulwich. This performance probably lacked the ‘derring-do / Guns of Navarone’ quality of the Tring triumph but was probably a more impressive overall performance. The outcome was never seriously in doubt and each time that HAC threatened to climb back into the match OCs found another gear and, more importantly, another goal. The 5-2 scoreline1 did not flatter the away side and this against a decent HAC side.

Graced by the classy and tireless Howie and the ever-menacing and powerful Gavin Rowlands this Vets performance was built around a strong midfield performance, the ball moving well through the middle of the pitch courtesy of another impressive display from Tommy ‘what-no-hat-trick-this-week’ Trinder. As ever the most effective passing proved to be the short ball in and out of the flanks and Jon Gray once again proved his worth, ever-dangerous down the right. At half-time OCs led 2-0, the second being a classic ‘fox-in-the-box’ effort from the sparkling Stuart Slemen following the all-important first goal, a short-range thwack by Tony Jones created by a neat pass from the aforesaid Slemen, surely a classic case of ‘poacher turned goal-maker’. . Jury service is clearly agreeing with him!

Half-time was interesting. Wade Pollard umpiring clearly had a plane to catch because he reduced the interval to just a few seconds. The shortened break proved long enough however for the HAC to neck a bottle of champagne between them – a magnificent moment and one that perhaps contributed to a level playing field given that a number of the OC team, having arrived rather earlier than expected, had ‘warmed up’ for the big occasion by getting comfy over a pint!

The second half was a roller-coaster. A powerful penalty corner strike from Andy Loates was deflected by Gavin to extend the lead, HAC nicked one back only for Andy Loates to touch a pass in after we had moved the ball around with four passes from a short corner to restore the three-goal cushion with a well taken goal. The team was served well at the back by Loates and Speers and Matt Olley in goal didn’t put a foot wrong notwithstanding the lack of clean sheet. In truth HAC’s second goal was the pick of the match, a Maradona style run half the pitch from their centre forward before a crisp finish that left our keeper no chance. We went immediately down the other end to seal the match with our 5th when Gavin Rowlands scored his second from a well worked short corner involving wall passes off defenders shins. Messrs Butcher and Eve meanwhile patrolled the left hand side to great effect. We even had the luxury of Osborn came off the bench in the second half to dazzle and help rub salt into HAC wounds.

We left the match in good spirits but with insufficient time for most of us to enjoy a post-match beer at the Greyhound, the lure of the evening Quins Toulouse game accounting for much of the team, another victory for an away side, but this one an unwanted result and no doubt reduced the OC Quins contingent to a bout of beer-based consolation! And anyway we can all reflect on a very satisfying afternoon’s hockey. It is official, OC Vets are now an a winning streak. David Burles

A mixed bag

The 1st XI got their new league campaign off to a winning start with a fairly routine 3-0 victory over City of Portsmouth, but the 2nd XI went down 1-5 at Bank of England. The 3rd XI already have as many wins this season as they managed throughout last with a heartening 3-1 defeat of Merton, while the 4th XI put last week's heavy loss behind them with a 2-2 draw against Barnes Beavers. This week's match photos



1st XI 3-0 City of Portsmouth
Our first league game in the new league against a City of Portsmouth team who a few seasons ago were four leagues above us ended with far more positives than negatives including three important points. Not dissimilar to ourselves C of P had slipped down the leagues in recent years and so we expected a tough match against a club who are no doubt intent on arresting their descent.

The first 45 minutes saw us play our best hockey of the season, take a three-goal lead and kill off the game. Rory had his best game as well, being rewarded with the first two goals of our league campaign in a stirring first half. The early exchanges were slightly in our favour but C of P did have 2 very good chances on the break and would have been disappointed not to threaten our goal. As it was our first goal came when a strong Gavin Adair run in from the left set up Rory who had the simplest of tasks to poke the ball home, just... The second goal came on the stroke of half time when Rory finished off an excellent move, again down our left, cracking the ball home. In between times we had not made the most of three or four good chances but the second goal on the stroke of half time gave us some breathing space.

Jonny Hunter clipped home our this early in the second half having been set up by Matt Cook and the game was over. Arguably better teams would have profited from our lack lustre last 25 minutes with fitness proving to be the key issue and we have to recognise that we will be under pressure if we do not increase our fitness levels. We do have to play a slightly different type of hockey in a better league as some our basics were poor and we were found out in places.

Wanderers next week which will doubtless be a stern test. David Knapp

Bank of England 5-1 2nd XI
Bank of England 1s away as our first game was always going to be a difficult task, as demonstrated by our 1st XI struggling away to them over the previous seasons. Our job was made harder by a depleted squad, due to injury and holidays. As it was we ended up with just 11 to their 14.

Never the less, we started brightly – running an effective half press and playing simple hockey. Their newly laid pitch was bumping but very true and it was this that assisted a BoE ball through the middle that caused us our real first difficulty. After a good save by Ross, who despite the scoreline actually had an excellent game, the subsequent shot deflected off Alfie’s stick and unfortunately on to his leg in front of goal. The umpire showed no hesitation in pointing to the spot. BoE made no mistake with the flick and therefore they went 1-0 up.


To our credit we bounced back straight away, forcing our way round the flank and creating a short corner. A good save from the keeper to an excellent flick from Jade saw the ball land at Preston’s feet. He had no hesitation in hammering it home. 1-1. Unfortunately BoE then took the lead too via a clinical strike but we held on to the break at 2-1 down.


The second half saw BoE press their advantage and when Jade was rightly given a yellow for a poor challenge our lack of substitutes was really highlighted. BoE were able to score a further 3 goals. It could have been more were it not for the post and cross bar saving us at least five times and some first rate keeping from Ross on debut.


There were plenty of positive signs, not least that we never gave up despite being up against it at times. When we played simple hockey we looked very good and we showed that we have adapted well to the new rules. Unfortunately things don’t get any easier for us as we take on 1st placed Wanderers 2s but with 14 at fortress TD where we were unbeaten last season we stand a good chance. Rob Merry

Barnes Beavers 2-2 4th XI
Both sides took to the duck pond wondering about what could have been. An apple and blackberry cake with no less than 2kg of butter was left agonisingly close to Dom’s front door, but not close enough. Seemingly the final straw, Grant Archer (fat cake eater) snapped "I don’t like wet, I don’t like sand, and I don’t like wind", brilliant; the conditions were wet, windy and sandy. Meanwhile, the Beavers frontline arrived (5th year running) having once again missed out on the X-Factor bootcamp (For an idea of what Rob Crumby and Steve Harmer faced today watch this).

Brad Surf-Dude-Crocodile-Hunter-Ah-Yeah-Throw-Another-Shrimp-On-The-Barbie-Davis-Oxbrough (nee Oxo) had a great game at left half, and was matched by Nick Jocelyn at right half. Both were at the heart of our attacking midfield play, linking well with Louis, and building the pressure which led to Jamal firing high into the net mid-way through the first half (0-1).

On any other day we would have added to this with three short corners going agonisingly wide of the post. Beavers kept to their direct game plan, which often turned the game into a tough end-to-end encounter in which fitness was going to be key. Matt “seriously, I’m absolutely terrible in goal” Olley made some sharp saves to betray his pre-match modesty but was helpless to prevent a well struck shot from just inside the area. (1-1). Only one handbag came out all match, with offending beaver being quickly told-off by the brilliantly named Umpire Justice. Half Time.

In the second half, beavers scored an early goal to take the lead (2-1) but the tiring 4s battled on to score an invaluable late equaliser. A good, tough game of hockey that should show its’ benefits in the coming weeks. Dom Tucker

Don't ask Oxbrough for directions

There have been some poor excuses for lateness over the years - Jasper Ahern's "I got stuck behind an elephant in Esher High Street" is a market leader - but Mark Oxbrough has managed to incorporate lameness with modern technology as the following email to hbis captain the day after a no-show in the Summer League indicates:

"I was cycling from central London to TD. When I got to just outside Kingston I turned on the TOMTOM on my phone to take me to the Portsmouth Rd. I ended up on a small residential rd in Roehampton 10km later."