Armitage gets engaged, Steele gets married

Belated congratulations to James Armitage on his engagement to Sarah Hickling while on holiday in South Africa over the New Year. Armitage, long regarded as one of the club’s great romantics, celebrated the occasion with an appropriate Facebook message. “Is about to spend months worth of savings on one piece of metal. Engagement ring sex better be awesome!” We’ll leave it at that.

Also congratulations to Stu Steele who quietly got married over the Christmas break to fellow Danes Hill-teacher Liz Barrett. Wisely, Stu doesn’t tell the world his innermost secrets.

Beauties, elephant men and double entendres

OC 4th XI 4-3 OC Ladies

Well dear reader, Harmer’s column is back and it has been some time since we last met. I believe it was when we celebrated the departure from these heavily debt laden and credit crunched shores in May of the one and only Nicholas Herbert ‘Bertie’ Bance. Who has done a bunk to South Africa to sit out the global recession and the international warrant for his arrest, something to do financial irregularities with his hair stylist! While the rest of the OCHC sweat out the financial roller coaster, you will be glad to know that Bertie is ducking bullets, purchased his and her Kevlar vests and has attended numerous anti carjacking courses in down town Jo’burg!


It is in fact Bertie’s departure from these shores that allows this column to report on what will hopefully become a regular fixture. The last time the Mighty 4th team played the ladies was back in 2004 on a very hot day in May which ended in the men sneaking a last-minute winning goal and El Bance getting so sunburnt he spent a week looking like a Wimbledon tennis strawberry (bright red and covered in cream!). We never did get around to organising another game, mainly due to a certain member of the squad continuously dribbling (due to the sun and heat) whenever a member of ladies team came near them on the pitch! Harmer’s Column is never one to out, anyone, for anything but the ladies put it simply, "Get rid of the dribbler and we will play you again!", So now that Bertie has left ... game on.


And so it came to pass that the Mighty 4th Team gathered pitched side at TD after a summer of weddings, engagements, BBQ’s and job worries to dust off their hockey sticks and remember how to run! That Sunday morning saw the opposition arriving in fine fettle looking toned and focused for the match ahead. Beautifully commented upon with the sound bite "the ladies looked fit!" quote Chris Bents. Alas the Mighty 4th team looked worried, Robin Crumby looked practically petrified and Armo remained hideously elephant-man ugly!


In the first half, the 4th team proved that no fitness, skill or tactical training over the summer months will ultimately end up in the team being crap! In the mid-morning sun we sweated and toiled with the ladies asking many questions of our back line, that we did not want to answer. The Mighty 4th team find it hard enough to concentrate on a match during the league season but as Robin Crumby had declared this event National WAG day, the wives, girlfriends and significant others were also heard commenting that we were rather poor! Of the few goal attempts we did produce Armo managed to spray his shots around like Jenson Button with a bottle of champagne on the F1 podium.

How we managed (most likely through Nick J) to be 3 – 0 at half time we shall never know. The ladies had been unlucky not to score themselves but the 4th team had an evil plan. Half time Buck’s Fizz served to both teams should have pushed the majority of the ladies back into the alcoholic daze they had awoken from a few hours earlier. Alas it had the opposite effect and inspired the girls in the second half to score three well worked goals, even with the massive drag factor of having Armo the Ewok seconded to their team for the last 35 minutes.


With the clock counting down, it was 3-3 and someone had to produce the magic. Come’ith the moment, come’ith the man, well Grant Archer at least! Inspired by his baby daughter cheering from the side lines our left back suddenly found some pace (not seen since 1992) and burst into the D from the left wing position. According to him, he finishing was like Michael Owen scoring that last minute winner against Man City. For those not using recreational drugs that day the reality was somewhat different, some might say divine intervention helped Iceman Archer push the ball into the net as he had all the grace, style, meaning and impact of a Gordon Brown Labour Conference speech!

At the final whistle the 4th team could not really celebrate as the ladies almost achieved revenge for the match five years ago. The only solace that we took was Armo standing on the halfway line looking like Wayne Rooney chewing a wasp, incensed because his presence had not inspired a world-class fight back!

Fear not ladies, you have chance for revenge as a possible post season fixture in April has been pencilled in the diary which is being billed as either "Steve Harmer’s Testimonial" or "Bye Bye Oxo" as he may well be leaving for a warmer climate down under.

Match reports - February 23, 2008

Wanderers 2-2 1st XI By gum this was a good game of hockey and a fitting tribute to Roger Loveland. Thank you to the league, the umpires and Wanderers for agreeing to and taking part in the minute silence. At the start of the game a draw was not going to be good enough for us but with eight minutes to go it certainly was, and still gives us a chance to sneak into the play offs but in reality Wanderers are too good to slip up now having regard to their remaining fixtures and we still have a couple of tricky ones to play.

David and Rob whistled to a standard way above that we are used to and both teams repaid the compliment by playing an expansive attacking game with chances being created at either end. Either side could have gone in a couple of goals up at the break but whilst Mike was not called upon to do much – Wanderers missing a couple of gilt edged chances as the ball flashed across our circle – Murray in the Wanderers goal made three or four top-class saves and was a real nuisance with his domination of the circle. Perhaps with a little more poise he could have been by passed but his speed to close the ball down caused us problem. Wanderers soaked up the pressure well and had a release ball into our right hand defensive area by way of a chip or aerial which proved to be very effective.

Although scoreless at half time it was fairly evident that goals had to come. The game became a little stretched as both sides went for the win and again Murray dealt with all that came his way effectively. Wanderers took the lead with a powerful drag-flick that was kept low but we had to wonder why there was a gap on the post. Not daunted we pushed up and a quick interchange of incisive passes resulted in Smudger being illegally impeded and our being given an immediate lifeline with a stroke. Murray was again on hand to deny and from the ensuing break Wanderers won another short and Rippers took a break with a yellow. The ball was struck into Mike who made a fine save but one of three Wanderers players could have nudged the ball home but only one was required – 2-0. We were in trouble. Another short corner given away and now it was Mike’s turn to make a superb save from a really powerful drag-flick that would have buried us.

Our heads did not go down and just like last week we upped our pace of passing, made a couple of positional changes and began to press. Rippers came back on and their left midfielder went off for a bad tackle – more due to the pace of the attack rather than a malicious challenge. We pulled one back, Gavin deflecting a Smudger cross home – a breach in the Wanderers last line of defence at last. We were now making all the running and as we broke out of defence the Wanderer’s mainstay in defence earned himself a yellow for an unnecessary stick block right under David’s nose. Four minutes to go and this time Bruce crashed the ball into the D with a pin point hit onto Cato’s stick who deflected the ball high into the net – 2-2.

Three minutes to go and there was only going to be one winner as we pressed and pressed. Two top-drawer chances went begging with the Man of the Match making a save with his face mask from Smudger and our failing to follow through the corner routine that we had decide to use in our huddle. The final whistle went and that was that. In past seasons we would have capitulated and lost by three or four, but when everyone is available we have a super squad and can play in a number of different ways as today showed.

Our games against Merton have been wonderful games but this was a real credit to both sides with Wanderers in both games showing that they are by far and away the best side in the league. Although both side wanted the win to snuff out the other’s chances of making the play off Wanderers will be happier with the draw albeit pretty well handing the league to UCL. David Knapp

Ladies XI 3-1 Tulse Hill (Click here for match photos) Captain Jax steered her troops to yet another victory this weekend against a usually very strong Tulse Hill & Dulwich (THD). Following a rousing, but shorter than usual, team talk from Coach Motty, who was struggling to talk at all after receiving a ball in the face in the previous game, we set about taking on the three-point challenge against a team above us in the league.

It didn’t take us long to settle and fortunately last week’s break wasn’t showing in our play. We soon took control, working the ball well through the midfield of Jax, Manny and Nikki up to the forward line of Nina, Dora and Viks. The teamwork held good to see us go ahead within the first 10 minutes through a brilliant goal from Dora.

The strength across the squad showed as Motty’s rotation system worked wonders and we were able to dominate the first half. Unforced errors and lapses in THDs concentration allowed us to split the defence through May’s pace down the wing for goal No. 2 as Dora neatly slipped the ball past the keeper.

Going into the second half leading only presented us with one issue … don’t concede a goal! We started strongly but THD had woken up and wanted to started to push the defence of Tux, Mezzer, Hels and Ros hard as they broke from their back line as we were pushing up high for our 3rd. After some poor short-corner attempts, a strike from another botched corner saw the ball squeeze into the goal and with angle being so tight even Katy couldn’t reach it.

Undeterred and with sideline support encouragement, we set about lifting our game and piling the pressure back on THD. Eventually the third goal came though a free hit just outside the D with Viks neatly placing the ball onto Dora’s stick … the shot came off the keepers pads and ‘poacher’ Caz nailed the ball home. Rumours are circulating that Dora could have got a third goal but ‘jug avoidance’ deterred her … where’s the commitment!

The final minutes of the game saw THD have a number of short-corner opportunities but Katy and Ros worked to keep THD’s strikers out as they cleared the ball away from the goal line. The final score ended 3-1 and 3 points secured.

Celebrations went on late into the evening as the girls took on the bars of Surbiton which oddly ended with two players at Kingston Police station following an altercation with a dumb taxi driver and another stranded in Hersham … I’ll let them explain! Helen Hawes


2nd XI 2-0 Surbiton For the second week in succession we played one of the two sides underneath us. Last week we beat Epsom 3-1, but a Surbiton side that boasted Pies, woefully underused in the event, in their front line were always going to be a tough proposition, and so it proved. We fielded about as good a side as we have all season and played some lovely hockey, but much of the game was played in the midfield with neither goalkeeper overworked – the match’s only short corner came in stoppage time at the end of the second half. We took the lead on 22 minutes with a scrappy goal after a slick move left the defence at full stretch, but Surbiton also had chances, hitting the post from an acute angle and forcing Kelson into a good save. We all but sealed the game when Neil Grimes’s shot from a rebound squeezed over the line eight minutes from time, and that it was out day was underlined two minutes later when Surbiton’s striker rounded Kelson and then blasted wide with the goal at his mercy. There was still time for us to make life difficult for ourselves as yellow cards reduced us to nine men for the final minutes, but we held on for a deserved win.


Sanderstead 3-2 3rd XI We went to some godforsaken place beyond Croydon to play Sanderstead and were unfortunate not to take a point with a 2-3 loss. Sanderstead had the lion's share of the start of the game and with strong runs up our left flank, an early cross within a couple of minutes from the left of the D took a cruel defection off the inside of the keeper’s foot and deflected into the goal. An event that no one likes to see was when a ball deflected high and with a stomach churning 'clonk', hit Adam in the head in open play. With a great deal of help and patience from Sanderstead, Adam made his way to the A&E department.

Able to stay with 11 men, the game restarted but a tactical change from Stu Steele (are we sure about that?) allowed us to step the game up. Some lovely passes up the flanks through Chaz and Tim started to show promise. A through ball from Armo to Preston let loose an excellent shot that was unlucky not to even the scores. As we started to press the advantage, Dave was creating problems up front and from that, a short corner game. With a clean injection, clean stop, Chaz struck cleanly to even the scores. The game started to find a steady pattern and the defence was stretched and Stu became a pivotal figure in the centre of the field tackling and distributing effectively and dangerously.

Short corners against us came, however Sanderstead couldn't breach the defence although a clearance off the line kept us even. A clean passage of play and strong movements started to wane in the last five minutes as Sanderstead started to find their feet, but it was even at half time. The second half started with Sanderstead pressuring the right and left backs of Robin Crumby and Nick Aston and moving the ball tightly and switching play started to draw our play. Our defence was holding well however a loose left winger found a lot of space and slotted home to take Sanderstead back into the lead.

The game continued but we began to find our feet again. Stu continued to control the centre of the park but strong runs through the left wing of Chaz and strong control in the centre of midfield by Preston started to create Sanderstead problems. A running ball which was going off was kept on by Armo and put onto the defender's foot to win a short corner. The resulting play was textbook, injected, stopped, slipped to Preston, drew the defensive runners, slipped the ball across the top of the D to Armo, who with far too much space drew the game level with a clean strike, textbook, kinda!

We held our own well and some excellent attacks up both flanks and through route one was escalated with Preston's distribution. The key however was Stu and Tim's defensive duties that kept Sanderstead's exceptionally gobby and generally unpleasant attacker (No. 34 and an individual we have been unfortunate enough to meet before) in check although his language was more appropriate to the football stands of Millwall than a hockey field. We wouldn't use the adjective Chav but pikey would be appropriate.

The game continued with some moments of flair and Sanderstead were switching the ball well. They broke up the right although an excellent tackle by Stu put the ball onto the attackers foot, it was missed by the umpires and across the D, the keeper was drawn and a well-flicked ball gave Sanderstead into the lead again. Some excellent attacks followed from us and Dave twice found himself with space, and time at the top of the D however defensive duties of the keeper kept the ball out. The final play came with a slipped ball up the right wing to Armo, passed across to the top of the D to Preston who was desperately unlucky not to bring the game level with an excellent piece of keeping which about summed up our season.

A hard-fought game from a physical Sanderstead and a draw would have been fair. Man of the Match was without question, Stu Steele. James Armitage

Match reports - January 26, 2008

The 3rd XI enjoyed a rare winning outing with a 3-2 win at Camberley to lift themselves out of the relegation slots for the first time this season; the Ladies also battled to a gutsy 1-1 draw with second-placed Spencer; the 1st XI just about did enough to beat lowly Surrey OBs 2-1, the Veterans dragged themselves off the bottom with a 31- win over leaders St Albans; but there were defeats for the 2nd XI and the 4th XI.

Surrey OBs 1-2 1st XI
Well, we were poor and very lucky to come away with three points against a spirited but limited SOBS side and had the rub of all the umpiring decisions – a half season’s fortune in one go. As it is we are still very much in top with February our decisive month. A state of flux existed at 8.20 on Friday evening with the sudden unavailability of Bruce due to injury but luckily Adam Davies was available and at 16 was playing his first game of men’s hockey being home for an exeat weekend and slotted strait into Bruce’s position. Adam then proceeded to be man of the match and is a player that we should see playing at least at the highest club level.

The first 20 minutes did not give any indication of what was to come and with us playing the ball around and wide a number of chances were created and squandered with our short corner drill being woeful. The final 15 minutes of the half heralded the rot with too many long balls shooting off the edge and end of the pitch. Nevertheless the half time team chat sorted things out and five minutes into the second period good build up play followed by a defence splitting pass from the streamlined Cook enabled Knapp to roll the ball home. The lead should have been doubled by Knapp who proceeded to dumfound Preston by winning the 69 shirt for the rest of the season with a crass effort at goal. Chances came and went with Robbo a spectator which continued as we all watched the SOBS best player run unchallenged into our D and push the ball speculatively towards the goal for Robbo to be outwitted by Ed B and the scores were even. Eds C restored the lead with a short corner strike and we held out for an important but less than decisive win.
UCL are next up and play like we did for most of the game today and it will be goodnight nurse. Thank you Adam for playing and showing us how easy hockey can be when playing the simple and commercial options. David Knapp

2nd XI 2-3 Barnes
A cracking game which we lost but again showed the fighting spirit which has seen us turn in some good performances of late. We went two down ten minutes into the second half and that seemed to be that against a physically big and good Barnes side, and although we pulled one back, Barnes restored their two-goal lead with 15 remaining. Then the fun started, Chris Tiss, who had got under the opposition’s skin with his skills and mouth all day, scrambled a second – earning a green card for his yell of “Eat that” into the defender’s face – and we pressed hard and had we had a short-corner routine which involved being able to stop the ball might have grabbed a draw. Neil Grimes was immense in midfield and again Dodie and Heardy controlled the back like the old pros they are. The cry-off of the week comes from Chris Porter in an apology given to Tiss who was waiting to collect him from the station. Porter, if he is to be believed, had been up all night "with a lady" and was in no position to leave his flat because of exhaustion.

Camberley 2-3 3rd XI
The 3rd XI delivered a rock star performance taking a full three points away at Camberly with a hard fought 3-2 win. An early 10am start, damned cold and Tim Cook, our designated umpire, had forgotten his cards … it did not bode well. Starting with the low sun behind us, we moved the ball effectively albeit, slowly on occasions. Movement up our preferred left attacking flank was effective and a returning Chopper made a nuisance of himself for the Camberley defence. Strong marking at break downs and a good control of the game led to a short corner which deftly taken by Bruce, beating the advancing defenders, shelled home an excellent goal. The game continued with a more confident team and Rich L attacking up the right flank provided Bruce in the centre a range of options with his control of the centre of the field. An attack followed through and a strike into the D led to Dave L perfectly angling the ball in a cramped D past their keeper. This was also the first time that we had gone two goals ahead all season. Camberley started to find their rhythm and on an attack, some poor tackling led to a lapse in attention and from a dead ball, they scored.

Half time came and a usual inspiration of a team talk followed. A slight line-up change of Rich L going up front as proving successful last week started the second half by pushing up higher. The tactical problem we had was that their attack was also pushing high creating a gulf in the centre of the field. Both sides attacked and counter attacked. Tim had to have a chat with the captains although slightly more directed at the opposition as we are all good chaps! The short resulted from one attack and a slip from Bruce to Preston, flicking it past the keeper it still required Chopper to glance it into the goal to take it to 3-1.

Camberley came back with several attacks and from a short corner, we became overloaded and Camberley had an open attack and scored. With five minutes remaining, Camberley loaded the pressure however what many have described as the heroic moment of the season and others as the moment they were standing amongst giants, a fighting defence became exposed and with the keeper caught in no mans land, a ball slipped past without question on its way to the back board, Armo slid past the Camberley striker and cleared the ball off the line to keep the team in with a shout (Guess who write this report …). In what remained of the two minutes, Camberley narrowly missed an equalising opportunity but the force was with us for arguably the first time in two years. Man of the match, Armo (not bad that, nominating yourself!) but a team effort, three points and a safety out of recession. James “Modesty” Armitage

Ladies 1-1 Spencer II
An early start after a week off saw us playing second-placed Spencer II at home. We had been one of the only teams to take points off them this season, holding them to a draw before Christmas, and inevitably both teams wanted to take the full points this time around, us to move up the table and them to sustain their position at the top. It was always going to be an eventful match.

Both sides started well, us against the sun after having lost the toss. The first 15 minutes saw good attempts coming from both ends a couple of penalty corners each and on 20 minutes Spencer manager to lift one into the net over keeper Katy who had just made a terrific save on the floor. We continued to pile the pressure onto the Spencer defence our forwards of Caz, and May doing an excellent job of closing down their defenders and driving the ball up and into the Spencer area but to no avail and we went into half time 1-0 down.

The second half was far more eventful. Our oranges at half time especially prepared by coach Mott obviously gave us the extra boost we needed. Going out hard, the midfield of Vikki, Nina, Jax and Sarah H were working harder than ever with some good movement, one touches and passing around and up to the forwards. We had several close calls, a ball chipped over the cross bar, Jax and Caz managing to get on the end of excellent crosses into the Spencer circle by May (Carl Lewis) Evans and Nina (Mike Tyson) Sutton, but just cleared wide of the goal by the Spencer keeper. Eventually our hard work, determination and perseverance paid off as an intercepted ball was passed into Vikki (silky skills) Mottram who moved the ball around her Spencer defender and 'melted' the ball into the goal. 1-1. We kept the pressure on and just shortly after our levelling goal, Caz (Wayne Rooney) Hall found herself racing the Spencer keeper towards a loose ball on the edge of the circle. The two collided and ended up in a skirmish before the keeper booted the ball away - but from outside of the D. She was yellow carded and sent off while the match was put on hold as another Spencer player kitted up. We were determined to capitalise on Spencer having one less player on the pitch and a sub keeper in goal but in true OC fashion we probably played better when they had 11 players on the pitch! We tried not to let the break in play interrupt our flow but inevitably it did. We conceded several short corners which our rock solid defence of Rossie P, Mez, Tux and Muriel as ever defended well and Katy in goal was called upon to make a couple of saves. Tempers had been rising through out the match and eventually a Spencer player snapped and Nina found herself on the end of the girl’s fist! Neither umpire saw the punch and play continued until it was time for the Spencer keeper to come back on again so with six minutes left to go, play stopped again while she kitted up. The game finished 1-1 all a great game by our ladies and we were unfortunate not to get another goal. Jax Joyce

Match reports - November 24, 2007

NPL 1 1st XI 2 A win is a win, and after three defeats and a drew in the last four outings, anything is welcome. But against a side rotted at the bottom, without a win, and whose goal difference was minus 32, we could and should have done much better than this. After a dismal opening ten minutes,Gav Adair gave us the lead, Eds Copleston doubled it and we then dominated the half and should have had countless more. But NPL hit back after the break although we held on to take all three points.

Ladies 1 Croydon 2 On a bitterly cold Saturday morning we were fired up to play second-placed Croydon at TD. We went out hard and probably had slightly more possession throughout the first 20 minutes having some good scoring opportunities and a penalty corner just lifted over the bar by Mrs Mott. They too had some good opportunities and a couple of penalty corners making our defence of Ros, Rosie, Tux and Muriel work hard and forcing a couple of good saves from Katy. Unfortunately a debatable umpiring decision (sorry Armo - i'm sure you'll get your own back in your match report!), gave Croydon a penalty stroke - to be fair from and where I was standing it looked that way too. Croydon converted with an excellent flick that gave Katy little chance. Two minutes later a mix-up defending gave Croydon their second goal.

At half-time we knew it could easily be 2-2 at least and kept our heads up and played hard. Lots of running as always from the forwards of Caz, May and Nina. Within minutes we were attacking their circle with some great team work and movement by all. Before long Nikki had put the ball in the back of the goal and Armo had failed to see it hit her foot on the way in. Unfortunately Martin and the rest of the team didn't and the goal was quite rightly disallowed. Croydon continued to push for more goals and won more corners which we defended well. Eventually a goal came. Nikki slammed the ball past Croydon’s keeper after a penalty corner didn't go quite as planned. It didn't matter as we scored anyway! For the last 20 minutes we kept pushing hard and had some more close calls looking like we could easily equalise but just couldn't seem to finish. We won the second half but the damage had been done in the first. A good but unlucky performance by us, but an enjoyable game against a good and fair team. Jackie Joyce


3rd XI 0 Sanderstead 1 (Click here for photos) We failed to capitalise on a good win last week with a 0-1 loss at home. Before the match report commences, for the record, there were three qualified umpires playing for the us and two more on the sideline. We understand and appreciate the time, dedication and difficulties that being an umpire can entail and do not wish to detract from this in this report. We also appreciate the need to train new umpires as well and therefore endeavour to do so. Saying that, the opposition umpire was so inconsistent, power crazed and ineffective that we were always playing 12 men on the field, and in the closing moments of the game an opposition player felt he could get away with running 10 metres off the ball into the OC captain from behind. Not only is this dangerous it is a disgraceful display of umpiring delivery that this player only received a yellow card.

More importantly, the game. We started with strong optimism and pushed back on a still-to-be-bedded TD pitch. Although a little disjointed to being with, we began to find some consistency and movement from the ball. Stu and Jock once again held the back four in structure and ordered the central midfield well. Chris Bents and Armitage were holding the ball well and distributing to the flanks with the wind backs moving the ball up the line effectively. The first indications of problems occurred when a decision went the other way and without prior warning to the team or captain, the umpire responded by a shocked "what!" statement with the ball being moved up 10 metres. This was then repeated again and again, with almost every penalty being moved up the pitch. So often was the umpire’s fist raised in the air that he seemed to be auditioning for a part in a recreation of a Nuremburg rally. Any queries were greeted with a shout of “learn the rules”.

The opposition moved the ball fluidly in midfield and created some threatening attacks. Of particular note was their young right wing who will be a useful player for several years. The game continued openly until the umpire had an altercation with one of the supporters after he had called back a quickly-taken free hit in the middle of the pitch because he wanted it taken one meter – yes, one meter – further back. The supporter said "that's right Stu, move it back the full eight inches". The umpire immediately reversed the decision and, almost inevitably, also moved it back up the pitch ten meters – actually about 15 which made his original pettiness even more absurd. Two minutes later, the OC captain was called over to the sideline to be told that the supporter was being offensive, the captain went to the supporter and as doing so, the umpire stated that the supporter was questioning his every decision and being rude. The supporter (ironically Level 1 qualified) responded and it came down to the captain telling both the umpire and supporter to shut up although the umpire said he was going to have the supporter banned from the club! We would all like to know how he is going to do that!

Never-the-less, the game continued and some good play from both sides eventually led to a short corner which they capitalised from and a clean shot into the bottom right corner proved the only goal of the game. The remainder of the half showed some good play with Bruce and Chaz threatening up the flanks and Preston looking dangerous up front.

Half-time came and the team knew that consistent and structured play would deliver and some excellent attacks from Dave L, CD and Chris led to some good opportunities. Decisions were becoming more unpredictable, stick tackles and body checks were allowed with impunity and the game grew ever more fractious. As if to underline his incompetence, by this time the umpire was running up and down the middle of the pitch blowing decisions everywhere and on occasions getting in the way of the play.

We still pressed well and created chances but full credit to the Sanderstead who had an excellent game, keeping several attempts out as Chaz, Preston, Bruce and Dave all goalless.

Niggles grew as the half progressed whileTim had a great display of composure and confidence through-out the game kept two potentially crucial attacks at bay. As the game came to its conclusion, the aforementioned cowardly body-hit occurred. We will take the opportunity to say that other than that hit, the opposition were enjoyable to play against, an end-to-end game. We look forward to playing them later in the season but do request a different umpire.

Man-of-the-match, Tim Judd and you can make your own conclusions who d;@! of the day was.

At this point we should reiterate that these reports are not the view of the club and are purely personal reflections on matches!

View from the sideline While echoing Armo's general sentiments, and congraulating the side on not losing their collective cools, it was not so much that the official in question didn't know the rules - he knew enough - but that he didn't have a clue how to apply them. So a cynical body check or violent stick-tackle just got a standard hit and no warning - and that applied to both sides - the mildest of questioning was severely punished. The sole reason the game started getting fractious towards the end was that lack of any control. Full marks to Jackie for keeping things flowing at the other end despite her colleague increasing taking a central midfield role and attempting to officiate the entire pitch.

Match reports - October 13, 2007

1st XI 6 Surrey Old Boys 2 Click here for match photos - Once again the availability – or more to the point the lack of availability – gave the skipper serious headaches until the last minute. As it turned out Knapp became available late on and so there was some flexibility in team selection. We welcomed back Robbo in goal for his first game for some 18 months and it was inspired performance from him that kept us in the hunt throughout the first half. Surrey Old Boys, with some familiar faces from last season’s Surrey University team – including the car park caber tosser from last year - came to us on the back of a good win against our 2006-07 nemesis Bank of Boks. Any thoughts that we were in for an easy afternoon were dispelled in a tight first half that saw us fortuitously winning 2 – 0 at the break. Two early goals from Knapp – set up wonderfully by Adair – and a vintage Copleston short corner strike enabled us to take the lead from two rare forays into the SOC’s half. Robbo in the meantime was dealing very effectively with everything thrown at him including a first-class save from a penalty stroke that in the final analysis turned the game. Indeed, but for a slightly way ward Knapp pass to Adair we would have gone it at the break 3 – 0. Our first half performance was very poor with bad decision making and no imagination when in tight situations going down the right. One of the highlights of the first half was Tony Rowe’s play of the advantage to the attacking side – a rare feature by most umpires at this level.

Within 10 minutes of the restart SOB were level with what appeared to be two lifted balls into the D – a similar one had been blown against us in the first half – not that we could complain after the luck went our way in the first 35-minute period. This seemed to sting us into action and the next 20 minutes saw us play our best hockey of the match with the midfield linking up with defence and attack that enabled us to play some great patterns and score three well-worked tap ins form Adair, Tissy and Knapp. Our sixth goal was the best of the lot with CB playing the ball out of defence quickly when an SOB short broke down, the midfield cracking the ball to Adair who took the ball on the reverse in stride and roofed the ball past the hapless keeper.

As the game wore on we played much better but must be aware of the sluggish start and some key players being off the pace. Bruce, come down next week please and take the warm up. In the final analysis the performance of the keepers decided this match although the defence did mop up most that was thrown at them. Even at this stage the next month promises to be pivotal for the season ahead of us and the hope has to be that the injuries to Smudger and Bruce are on the mend so they will be available together with the returning Cato and Lewis. David Knapp
Barnes 4 2nd XI 1

3rd XI 2 Guildford Shadows 3 After the failing of the opening game of the season, we went down to the A3 to face Guildford Shadows on the notoriously bouncy water base. Starting with the most welcome Preston Rutt back up front, it became very evident in the early stages that Guildford knew their pitch significantly better than we did. They launched some quick balls down our flanks which Adam and Jock handled well and Stu was, as ever, the rock in the centre picking up the runners (its easier than chasing them). Although conceding several short corners, runners CD and Adam neutralised these with excellent panache.

After 15 minutes, we found our feet and started to play its own hockey instead of letting Guildford dominate the game. CD and Adam made an excellent run up the left flank that tear their defence apart, Dave L had a lucky reactionary save followed by a hit that soared over the bar that would have made Jonny Wilkinson proud. The final two minutes came and a short corner was excellently taken by Guildford which flew over the keeper hitting the top inch of the backboard, 1-0 and half time!

The second half started with greater composure and as it progressed, we started to press higher. An occasional break was handled by Stu and Rich L in the central defence. The breakthrough came with a pass to returning captain (last week being useless in Spain) with a textbook dummy. Shot from the top of the D taking a heavy deflection from a guildford defender to open his season's account. Guildford returned the favour only moments later with a well hit shot for the top D after some sloppy defending, 2-1.

Although some excellent runs and attacks from Dave L and Preston as well as a strong right midfield in drafted Rob Jonker, our equaliser came from a short corner with Jock receiving the ball, passing (yes you read that right) to Armo who fired home his second of the day. The game significantly opened up and for five minutes could have swung either way however a short corner in the last two minutes threw the runners and keeper and took away a well fought point.

A good game to come back from last week on a very hard pitch. Both umpires were excellent and although Tim Cook was asked to card Jock, he was more than sporting in not doing so. Man of the Match went to Adam Mcilroy who also announced that he will be a father come April, congratulations Adam. James ‘here one week in three’ Armitage

Ladies 2 Spencer 2nd XI 2 After fighting the Saturday afternoon traffic we eventually made it to Spencer in time for our 3pm push back. We had a strong start and in the first 15 minutes probably held the majority of the possession but could not seem to convert the chances. Spencer piled on the pressure winning several penalty corners in which our defence of Katy, Ros, Muriel, Tux and Rosie held strong. At half time the score was dead locked at 0-0. We went out hard in the second half and before long in open play a cracking cross from Laura set up a goal slammed in the back of the goal from Dora. We were one up with a long way to go and Spencer kept pushing us backwards. We conceded more penalty corners but still held strong. The forwards, Dora, Caz, Nina and Laura were having to track back to cover the Spencer backs pushing forward and then working hard to get forward again when we regained possession. At some point a shout was heard by Ros at the back to the spectators on the side 'Does anyone know the football score?!' Hearing our boys were winning in the Euro 2008 qualifier spurred us on and eventually we won another penalty corner and this time a rebound off the Spencer goalie gave Laura her debut goal for the OC ladies! 2-0 up but still 15 minutes to go.

A reoccurring injury of vice captain Muriel meant our midfield of Sarah Hardiman, Ana and Jax had to reshuffle for a while before Muriel gallantly returned to the pitch and battled on! Spencer pressed us hard and we gave their captain too much space for what has to be said was a great reverse-stick strike to make the score 2-1. We pushed back, winning several more penalty corners but so did they, several of which we only just managed to clear off the line. However, with five minutes to go they managed to converted one of their penalty corners to make it 2-2. The score line finished here a fair reflection of a hard fought evenly matched game. We look forward to the return match! Jackie Joyce

Knapp steps up as club captain

The AGM was held at TD on Wednesday, March 28 and a number of changes were made for the forthcoming season.

At the top, Christian Davies, under the pressure of impending fatherhood, has stepped down as club captain. I know everyone would like to thank CD for all his hard work, and he has taken the role so seriously that on occasion he has been spotted sober at TD on a Saturday. He wanted to hand over to a fitter and younger(looking) person, so David Knapp will take on the challenge.

The following officials were appointed for the 2007-08 season.

Club President Tim Cook

Club Captain David Knapp

Hon Secretary Dodie Khurshid

Hon Treasurer Martin Williamson

Hon Fixtures Secretaries Andrew Eve; Sarah Tucker

1XI Captain Eds Copleston

2XI Captain Abeed Janmohamed/Rob Merry

3XI Captain James Armitage/Richard Lawrence

4XI Captain Dom Tucker/Bertie Bance/Grant Archer

Vets Captain Wade Pollard

Ladies Captain Jax Joyce

Mixed Captain Rosie Marriott

A final message from CD – “I would also like to thank, on behalf of the club, Billy, Harmer and Hels for all of their efforts over the years running the 2XI (Studio), 4XI and Ladies respectively.” And we all endorse that.

Details about arrangements for the Summer League, subscriptions for 2007-08 and developments at the club to follow.

Armitage out for the season

The 3rd XI’s promotion bid suffered a major blow on Saturday when James Armitage, turning out for the 4th XI after a long lay-off, tore a mediate ligament in his knee which rules him out for the rest of the season. Carried off squealing like a girl who has discovered a spider in her bath, his anguished expression was only matched by that of Louis Strover who realised that Armo’s absence meant he had to play a full 70 minutes for the first time since 2000-01.

Armo visited A&E at Kingston with Vikki, his girlfriend watching him play for the first time, where the tear was confirmed and he will be out for three to four months. He insisted that he will continue to run the 3rd XI from the touchline. We all wish him a speedy recovery.

Armitage on the pull

A friend (yeh, right) of James Armitage has told us that the 3rd XI beefcake has been widening his social circle. Only recently recovered from the shame of his behaviour at the club captain�s wedding, he further underlined the reputation of Uppingham by pulling the bride�s sister at another function. Last week he reportedly went on a date arranged via one of those rather suspect internet sites and was so smitten that he delivered 100 red roses to the young lady�s offices the next day. Armitage was given the chance to buy this website�s silence but declined.