Janmohamed gets engaged

After months after resistance, and to the dismay of the Ladies section (he told me to write that), Abeed Janmohamed has finally done the decent thing and proposed to the long-suffering Alex. He continues to display misplaced bravado (when not at home) by insisting that the wedding will not clash with any cricket, especially the Ashes, and that where and when the wedding takes place is entirely within his control.

Janmohamed has not been seen on the hockey pitch this season despite shelling out almost £600 on new goalkeeping kit (Smithy, keep an eye on ebay). He claims that his doctor has ordered him not to play sport because of something female to do with his knee. The real reason is that he is playing more golf in a desperate bid to gain a place in the OCGC Halford Hewitt squad.