Alternative fitness tips

Before Christmas we had Ed Breton's training tips ... now we have an unnamed goalkeeper's pre-match routine (don't the days of Knappy banning Friday night drinking seem along time ago).

Friday PM - Get bladdered
Sat 0730 Woken in front garden of St Albans house by angry householder demanding that you get off his lawn
1100 Somehow stumble back to London flat
1130 Woken by angry captain demanding that you leave with him for game
1330 Start game
1340 OC back asked by opposition forward if keeper is OK after fourth goal goes in past mumbling wreck in keeping kit
1500 Final whistle, 13 conceded but so drunk that game will not be remembered
1800 Feeling better, get on it again.