OCs cling on for a draw

Old Wellingtonians 244 (Jones 60, Allen 3-30, Henderson 2-33, Harman 2-55) drew with Old Cranleighans 130 for 9 (Bailey 32, Barker 4-23)
Click here for match photos

The weather broke shortly after the start of the second game of the week, the temperature dropping and several heavy showers blighting the day, one brutal squall mid-morning causing several ageing OCs to show a turn of speed not seen in years.

Old Wellingtonians never settled before lunch on a pitch which, spruced up by rain, offered far more than it had 24 hours earlier. Paddy Harman and Ed Henderson proved a useful new-ball partnership, and after they had prised out the top order, Duncan Allen came on to make light work of the middle order. At 88 for 6 an early finish was on the cards, but Jones capitalised as the conditions eased, and he steered Wellington to 244.

We started equally unconvincingly, but despite a minor recovery from Simon Copleston and Steve Bailey, we were never in the chase. More rain meant that we were left batting out the final overs, but that provided late drama as we managed to lose wickets every time we appeared safe. Mike Roper was ninth man out in the penultimate over after more than one scare, and it was left to Henry Watkinson to bat out the final over. Even then he gave his captain one last scare, scooping the fourth ball back over the bowler and coming within a diving inch of being caught.

Sleepy enjoyment resumes at Headley

Old Cranleighans 242 for 6 dec (Chetwode 72, Russell 46, Wilkie 41*) drew with Headley 240 for 6
Click here for match photos


A lovely sleepy summer’s afternoon and a perfect antidote to the abomination resulting from poor captaincy 12 months earlier, the game going down to the last ball. Village cricket as it should be played.

The OC hierarchy banished the captain of 2008 to Singapore and picked a side who would offer some va-va-voom. Michael Chetwode, drafted in after his Frogs game was cancelled hours before, volunteered to open with returning legend Peter Russell, and the pair added 110 in 11 overs. Russell, slightly tubbier but still a magnificently tanned sight for the ladies, oozed class after a rusty start. Chetwode also oozed something, but enough of that. He sliced, heaved and smote to great effect, aided by four dropped catches, and produced the shot of the day, a delightful eight iron which left a large dent in Rick Johnson’s car door.

Sadly, no sooner had Chetwode’s thoughts started to flick back to his only career hundred, made on this same ground, than he played on for 72. Russell then started to open up with some beautiful drives and pulls before he suffered the same fate.

Johnson, in some tight-fitting trousers (but aren’t they all) made 12 exclusively between point and third man, something Headley stifled with five men behind square on the off, while Steve Bailey made a typically idiosyncratic 34.

Iain Wilkie, his remaining traces of hair now silver, started stiffly and got stiffer, but as the declaration loomed played some attacking shots which he would never have considered in his youth (or middle age) to finish on 41 not out.

Headley set off at a pace, aided by Johnny Gates, who proclaimed at tea he could hold hard catches but not easy ones, proving the point by missing a succession of sitters. Just to underline the point he also fluffed a stumping or two. In fairness to him, the chairman, a specialist keeper in his slimmer youth, refused to keep as it interfered with his consumption of the excellent tea.

It was tight all the way, Henry Watkinson using eight bowlers to spice up the chase. In the end Headley needed 13 off two overs with wickets in hand. Chetwode, ever reliant, was summoned and restricted the batsmen to three runs off the penultimate over. Watkinson then tossed the ball to Damion Hill, a spectator all day, for his first involvement, bowling the final over.

With four needed off the last ball, a shot was launched into the deep where Johnson dropped it, but his bulk ensured there was no way the ball would or could pass him to the boundary.

A draw and a thoroughly enjoyable game against a good hosts. Hopefully this ensures we will be invited back in 2010. As long as Tristan Rosenfeldt isn’t allowed to resume his captaincy.

Season ends with a win at Elstead

OCs 256 for 9 (Johnson 63, Watkinson 38, Cope 29, Gates 24*, Henderson 22) beat Elstead 166 (Boxhall 30, Crump T 2-7, Williamson 2-16) by 90 runs

We finished our season with an emphatic 90-run win at Elstead, a new fixture and a pleasant way to complete a most successful summer. A record of 12 wins, two draws and the one defeat is probably the best in the club’s 118-year history.

Click here for the full report.

Spots prove no match

Old Spots 89 (Read 2-8, Chetwode 2-16 Houston I 2-19) lost to Old Cranleighans 92 for 2 (Hill 40*, Rosenfeldt 28*) by eight wickets

An excellent opening spell from Nick Read and Henry Watkinson set the tone in a game that we were always in control of. Read used the sloping pitch to his advantage to bowl two of the top order. Watkinson took objection at being dispatched to the boundary and bowled a good bouncer in response that the batsman fended to Rob Merry behind the stumps.

The fielding was mixed. The skipper led the way doing his best impression of David Seaman, by tipping a very takeable catch wide off an imaginary post. He made amends later in the game, but only after juggling twice.

Mike Chetwode was dependable as ever but his slower ball proved interesting. Richard Seeckts (playing for Old Spots) tucked into Steve Bailey but Kitbag had the last laugh. Unfortunately, this was at the expense of Chetwode who managed to send his index finger through the back of his knuckle taking a good catch in the deep – we wish him all the best for a speedy recovery.

Ian Houston also used the slope well and managed to get a considerable amount of genuine turn. His eight over spell brought two wickets, but on another day might have earned him many more. Bailey bagged his second wicket, a stumping, by bowling a flighted Coppleston-esque invitation which the batsmen just couldn’t resist. Johnny Gates, having already shelled a catch in the deep, ran away from the next one, claiming he was just trying to extend his bowling spell. He wrapped up the innings by bowling a bemused-looking teenager - the ball pitching outside off stump and jagging up the hill eventually hitting the top of leg.

Eighty-nine was never going to be enough, on what was essentially a good track, but in true OC style we tried to make it interesting. First Will Bond perished and then Harry Jupp went back to a good-length ball. Damien Hill batted well; the highlight being a hook that would surely have gone for six had Damien not swapped his tried-and-tested Newbury Uzi for a horrible sounding new plank. Tristan Rosenfeldt, sporting an OC blazer-style cap, picked up from his successes of last season putting away the bad balls with style.

The early finish enabled us to make the most of the sun and excellent Old Spots hospitality. Henry, who has resorted to bribing Millie with 7-Up for her attention, was caught in the act by a visibly shocked and disappointed Melissa Johnson. Rick Johnson, who spent most of the afternoon harassing people over the OC ball, was kind enough to invite the team back for a BBQ - a fitting end to a good start to the season.
Rob Merry

Bailey overcomes simian scars

As with all England touring sides, we have bolstered our ranks with the news that Steve Bailey will be available for the three matches in Mumbai. Bailey, in form on the back of ducks in both outings in 2006, refused to join the early part of the trip to nortern India after an incident in 1979 where he was mugged by a gang of monkeys at the Taj Mahal. “I was young, bowlheaded and unschooled in the harsh realities of simian pugilism in which apparently the Queensberry rules do not apply,” Bailey explained. “The emotional scars have largely healed. I achieved some closure by revisiting the scene of the attack in 2005, but I still have an irrational fear of PG tips and was unable to watch Planet of the Apes (although that may have been because it was crap).”

Bailey bites the dust

Women throughout southern England have had a wretched few months. First, Rick Johnson finally asked Melissa to marry him - amazingly she accepted - and now it has been revealed that Steve Bailey (Tweedle Dum to Rick's Tweedle Dee) has followed suit and got engaged.

Details are sketchy, but it was on the cards ever since his two closest friends - Rick and Will Bond - succumbed in 2003. Faced with the prospect of being the only single man on tour, he caved in. It is reported that Kitbag popped the question while bobbing around in a Venetian gondola

Reaction among his friends was of delight and relief, although one former schoolmate expressed surprise. "I didn't even know he'd ever had a girlfriend," he explained.

Bailey urges players to train

Steve Bailey has been setting a fine example for his team-mates by attending regular rigorous training sessions at Lord's. The net sessions have involved substantial fitness tests, followed by intensive batting coaching analysis under the critical eye of Mark Mason, qualified coach and batting guru.

Insiders report that Bailey has been in fine form, hitting the ball hard and far and that there is little sign of any winter deterioration in his form. He is reported to have said: "I feel its vital to set the right example to other members of my team which is why I have committed myself to this training schedule and urge others also to do so."

But when asked to go on the record, Bailey would only say - "The only practicing I have been doing is how to tuck my bat under my arm as I walk off".

But he was quick to criticise players who report back after the winter unfit. "One or two should be ashamed of themselves," he said. "I don't want to mention names ... well, Chetwode actually ...they should set a better example. I have always prided myself of my personal fitness and hygiene," he added.


Simon Copleston has been following Bailey's lead in the nets. He commented, "Its a great idea. Steve is a fantastic, innovative and inspirational leader. These nets are really helping me work on my technique and I'm hoping for a good season for all." Copleston denied that this blatant brown-nosing had anything to do with reports that he was no longer considered the side's regular opening batsman.

Insiders (well, Simon himself, actually) reported that Copleston has responded positively to early fitness concerns over his damaged knee and that the transfer to using contact lenses has passed without a hitch, so far.

Another making a bid to return to former glories is Rick Johnson, who has shed 20lbs and is reported to be looking to get down to under 13st by the cricket week. "I've cut out food," explained Rick.

Australia tour gets the green light

After several weeks of uncertainty, Johnson Williamson Package Holidays are pleased to confirm that their fourth bi-annual jaunt, the tour to Australia in January 2003, is on.

A number of high-profile cry-offs had left the trip in doubt, but an equal number of cry-ons has redressed the balance and the planning is now going ahead. The flights and hotels have been booked and all the match/restaurant/transport arrangements have been made.

The trip will leave late on Thursday, January 16 (those who have jobs will be able to put in a full day at the office) and will return in the early hours of Monday, February 3 (those with jobs and the metabolism of an ox will be able to go straight to work), so you will need to take no more than 11 days our of your annual holiday. This leaves even the most unfortunate of you with nine days remaining (of which five will be the cricket week, obviously).

We are playing five matches, the highlight being a match at the Don Bradman memorial ground at Bowral (also the home of the Bradman Museum). The cost includes a three-day trip to the Hunter Valley (quite whether they are prepared for Wongy is another matter), six days at the beach (including flights to and from) and all accomodation, and transport to matches.

The cost of the trip is £1800 (given that flights have already been booked this might be slightly more for latecomers depending on flight availability, but ask and we'll see what we can do). Further good news is that Rick has agreed (extremely reluctantly) that he will not go overboard on clothing and he has ditched his plans for Armani blazers.

We need at least £600 now (to cover deposits) and the balance in the coming months but by late November at the latest. Last one to pay sits next to McDermott on the plane ... and it's a 21-hour flight remember.


Draft Itinerary

Thursday January 16
Leave UK on BA 015 at 22:30

Friday January 17
Indoor Match vs. Singapore baggage handlers at Changi Terminal 1

Saturday January 18
06:30 Arrive Sydney, Australia “The Land of Milk and Honey”

Sunday January 19
Game 1 v Newington College (similar school to Cranleigh). Official dinner for OC expats. Hosted by Bob Dwyer.

Monday January 20
Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb / Free day

Tuesday January 21
Game 2 v TBA .

Wednesday January 22
Game 3 v Bradman Memorial Ground, Bowral.

Thursday January 23
Free Day / One day final Eng v Aust at SCG Day/Night

Friday January 24
Hunter Valley, home of Australian wine – Afternoon private wine tasting sessions at various vineyards– possible end of tour! Stay Hunter Valley.

Saturday January 25
Match 4 vs. Brokenwood Cricket Pitch Vineyard XI

Sunday January 26
Golf morning + more wine tasting. Afternoon return to Sydney for flight to Whitsunday Islands (Tropical paradise on the Barrier Reef)

Monday January 27
Beach

Tuesday January 28
Beach

Wednesday January 29
Game 5 v TBC / Beach

Thursday January 30
Beach

Friday January 31
Beach

Saturday February 1
Game 6 v TBC. Return to Syndey for end of tour dinner. Stay at Park Hyatt with views over the Harbour

Sunday February 2
Depart Sydney 16:00

Monday February 3
Arrive UK 0600

Who's going (so far) Steve Bailey, Mike Chase, Michael Chetwode, Eds Copleston, Tim Evans, Pete Hobbs, Freddie Hood, Tom Hufton, Rick Johnson and the long-suffering Melissa, John McDermott, Nick Read, Nathan Ross, Henry Watkinson (TBC), Martin Williamson, Andy/Liz Wright.

Bailey gets a second chance

Steve Bailey was unanimously re-elected as captain at the AGM of the club on January 28.

Bailey, whose first year at the helm was dogged by unavailability and bad weather, said that he was honoured to be given a chance to sort out the mess he had created. "I appreciate that one or two things went slightly wrong," he told the packed audience at the Cross Keys in Chelsea, "but it wasn't that bad … was it?" You could have heard a pin drop. Bailey promised to try and get at least seven players for all games.

Rick Johnson put forward a determined presentation about his plans for the tour to Australia in January 2003 and, despite some reservations from the members, was given until the end of February to come up with a detailed itinerary and list of potential tourists. The need to involve the youngster was stressed.

Herculean efforts by the Fixtures Secretary, Simon Copleston, meant that again we would have an eight-day cricket week to commemorate the return of the Jubilee pavilion as a home for OC cricket. Rick agreed to co-ordinate the organisation and the inevitable hog roast. Simon added that we had no new fixtures (aside from a game against a Sam Watkinson XI) but that we had agreed with the Old Georgians and Old Tonbridgians that we would play them on a home and away basis in alternate years, thus ensuring that we always had seven home matches during the week. He concluded by announcing that we had a home match against Old Johnians in the first round of the Brewers Cup.

Martin Williamson announced the club had made a substantial loss in 2001, caused largely by the lack of players in matches (it was hard to charge people picked up at a Guildford bus stop half-an-hour before the start of a game a match fee), bad weather and poor collection techniques (Bailey blamed Johnson, Johnson blamed Bailey etc). A number of remedies would be implemented in 2002.

John McDermott announced that he had agreed to stay on another two seasons as club president in order to ensure that 'Bailey didn't destroy the whole ****ing shooting match'.

Style gurus lose their way Stateside

The fourth trip to Florida was our least successful on the pitch but probably the most enjoyable off it.

After the human cost of last year's eight-day tour, this year's strategy was to arrive late - so late that our first match took place 13 hours after our arrival in Florida (and about eight hours after we finally extracted ourselves from the Alamo Car Rental office in Tampa). It was little surprise that we lost to a Sarasota side we should have comfortably beaten. We had woken (sobered) up by the time of our second match in the afternoon and comfortably beat. The salubrious Denny's Restaurant hosted a 'Schooldays' dinner at which we enhanced our reputation as a side who cared more about enjoyment that winning.

The squad against the picturesque backdrop of the Holiday Inn
On Friday we faced the eventual winners Ashurst Crusaders, a side which contained Mike Gatting and Ashley Cowan among others. Gatt found the OC attack of Johnson and Trevett to his liking (in a throwback to his days as captain, Chetwode hid until Gatt was well out of sight) and chasing 69 we were well beaten.

Our final match was a formality in that we were already eliminated, but it still had spice as it was against our old rivals Houston Memorial, previous winners and a side who had never beaten us. Houston batted first and set a target of 69, a tough score in the five-over format. Although we lost pinch-hitter Chetwode for 0, Nathan Ross, Rick Johnson and Pete Hobbs, aided by a plethora of wides, saw us home with eight balls to spare.

So we ended with a 2-2 record. In fairness we were probably one of the best four sides in the tournament but suffered from late nights and being in a tough group.

Nathan 'Random' Ross was the pick of the batsmen, and one of the best in the whole competition - at last a ringer who can ring - and he retired in each of his four innings.

Off the field Random also displayed an un-OC habit of talking to girls and not have them walk away within seconds. Hobbs arrived with a massive reputation as a stud, was blown away by some silly drinking on the first night and only recovered as the tour ended. Tom Trevett, king puller in Kenya, enhanced his reputation further with some smooth action in Sarasota.

But the undoubted success of the tour was not one of these, but the striped blazer. Ridiculed at Gatwick, it was idolised by Americans and attracted comment (and women) wherever it went. It proved the best ice-breaker known to man, and was only undermined by the inability of most of the wearers to follow-up these openings. Safe to say it looked far better on the ladies at Cheetah's and various waitresses than it did on any of the OCs.

Tour party Steve Bailey (capt), Michael Chetwode, Rick Johnson, Tom Trevett, Pete Hobbs, Martin Williamson, Nathan Ross, Will Bond, John McDermott, Sylvia McDermott, Andy Wright, Liz Wright.

Controversy mars Griffin Cup win

The Old Cranleighans retained the Griffin Cup at Esher on Sunday amongst scenes of controversy during the final at New Road. The returning champions had coasted into the decider with two comfortable victories over Sarasota and Esher II thanks to good all-round team performances.

The OCs were then asked to bat first in the final by the home team. Some clean hitting by James "Slim" Willoughby, some cultured strokeplay by Steve Bailey and useful contributions from Chetwode, Pile and Bond saw the OCs set Esher a daunting target of 77 to win off their five overs. That target didn't look quite so clever by the time the Esher no.3 had reached his mandatory retirement (20) off six balls. A steady stream of falling wickets meant that he could return mid-way through the fourth over, all other players having batted, with the target now 23 off 14 balls.

With 10 balls remaining, and the target now 13, Bailey, the sophisticated OC skipper, took a sharp caught and bowled after having deceived the batsman with his well flighted mystery ball (so called because it is a mystery where, or indeed if, it will land). The victorious OC team were leaving the field to celebrate when, for the second time in as many years, the Laws of game (note they are called Laws rather than guidelines or rules) were subject to reinterpretation by some of the members of Esher CC. In 2000, an attempt was made to introduce a new law whereby the team scoring fewer runs could be declared the winner. This time around, the patently silly "not out batsman bats on" idea was borrowed from under 9 cricket in a wacky races type attempt to alter the outcome of the contest. Common sense eventually prevailed with the Esher not out bat honourably tying the game.

"It's one more piece of silverware for the club," the victorious captain replied when asked for comments after lifting the cup for the third time in as many years of asking, an achievement even beyond the reach of the Brazilian football team. When asked if the third victory meant the Old Cranleighan Club got to keep the trophy, the eloquent Esher Chaiman, John McDermott, was heard to reply, "b*****ks."

Bailey refused to be drawn on rumours that he was struggling to fill sides for the cricket week which starts on Sunday, July 15th. "We have full sides on all days bar eight," he said, adding that he was sure several others, who he refused to identify, would 'cry on' in the coming few days. When asked whether the fact he managed to get on five OCs to the Esher Sixes he claimed that he "thought it was a five-a-side".

"How the hell was I supposed to know I needed six players?"

Side announced for Brewers Cup debut

Eds Copleston, who captained the OCCC to victory on Speech Day and will lead the side in the Brewers Cup first round match against Old Hurstjohnians in three weeks time, has named his squad for the game.

Having applied unsuccessfully over a number of years for admission to the Brewers Cup, effectively the second-stream Cricketer Cup, the club have been included this year for the first time. The only previous foray in competitive cricket was in the Cricket World Trophy which we entered between 1990 and 1997, with our best performance coming in the first year when we reached the semi-finals.

"In the view of both myself and the committee as a whole it is essential we do as well in this tournament as we should," said Copleston. "The OC Cricket Club can only grow and attract new talent in the long term if it makes itself successful in the short term. Our progress in the Brewers Cup, perhaps a long Cup run, could publicize the club in an extremely beneficial way."

There are two high-profile absences in the squad. Club captain Steve Bailey, who took over from Henry Watkinson at the end of the Kenyan tour is missing as is the powerful hitter Rick Johnson.

Bailey's omission, whilst unfortunate, is explained by his lack of form - his last four innings have produced just 12 runs - and his tendency to catch the ball like a girl. "He is suffering a lack of form," reflected Copleston. "However, I believe like all great captains who have suffered in this manner he is strong enough to bounce back."

Johnson on the other hand can consider himself hard done by, especially given that his ability to score quick runs could be extremely useful in the limited overs format of the Brewers Cup.

But Copleston denied that the decision was down to anything other than cricketing ability. "He confirmed to me with his performance on Speech Day that he is not Brewers Cup material. I need players with genuine skill and a desire to extract victory at all costs.

"Nicknaming me Hitler for the severity with which I continuously told him to behave or placed him intermittently at long leg will not have improved his previously bleak chances," added Copleston.

The match takes place on Sunday 24th June at Hurstpierpoint and starts at 11.30am.

OCCC side to play Old Hurstjohnians (from); E Copleston (cap), S Copleston, S Watkinson, G Brown, R Gutteridge, W Howard (wkt), A Janmohamed, N Read, T Hufton, M Chetwode. 12th Man: L Moorby

Bailey takes the reins

At a packed AGM of the club Steve Bailey was elected as the new captain of the club. The 28-year-old succeeds Henry Watkinson who leaves for Australia as soon as the side returns from Kenya.

"At least it's not a tough act to follow," said Bailey. "It's a great privilege and I hope that I can live up to the great players who preceded Henry. I feel that my experience of leading the School in 1990, plus my skills as a genuine allrounder, will help to lead the club into a new era."

Ed Copleston, who was elected as vice-captain, was quick to give his support to Kitbag. "Steve is a master on the field, a demon of tactician. He will make calculated decisions based on the situation he faces, not rash reactions to pressurised scenarios. It will be a pleasure to serve under him and I know we all have alot to learn from the next year of transition which he leads us head first into."

New social secretary Rick Johnson discusses fund raising with an admirer
And Simon Copleston also gave his backing to the diminutive new leader. "Steve is a very competent captain. I've played under him before and he'll inject a tough edge into OCs cricket that we haven't seen since the days of Bugge. His dancing talents off the field will be very useful and I'm sure he'll pick a very good looking team."

Club president John McDermott was equally supportive once had got over the shock.

Bailey denied that his new romantic links with a Spanish lady would mean that he couldn't give his full attention to the job.

Other decisions reached at the meeting were that Martin Williamson and Mike Chetwode would captain a 'Golden Oldies' 2nd XI on Speech Day, with selection placing less emphasis on ability to procure illegal substances and more on cricketing prowess. Chetwode denied that it was a move on his part to take more cheap wickets.

Former captain Andy Wright, star batsman Robin Elsdon Dew and supporter Allen Dean were all elected vice-presidents.

And Rick Johnson was levered into the new position of OCCC Social Secretary.

Sarasota semi-final heartache

The third jaunt by the OCCC to the Sarasota International Six-a-Side festival ended, as in the 1999, in semi-final defeat. But again (and mystifyingly) we won many friends off the pitch and funded Cheetahs nightclub's operating costs for another twelve months.

For the first time we entered two sides - one in the main competition and one in the social league - and also brought an increasing number of supporters. We also introduced coloured kit to the Americans, chosing to play in a fetching navy blue strip with orange hats.

The first team lost just one of their group matches, defeating the fancied Houston side for the second year running and also seeing off last year's winners, British Airways. In the end we won our qualifying group by the narrowest of margins.

John McDermott sings My Way during the annual Festival dinner
In the semi-final we were again slightly the worse for wear after a particularly evil drinking session at the Festival dinner and never quite scored enough runs to challenge a strong Tornoto side.

Nick Read was again the pick of the batsmen, although Watkinson and Chetwode both showed signs of their big-hitting abilities. With the ball Chetwode was as parsimonious as ever, although in one match he managed to concede 21 runs from his over.

The social side were on paper probably the strongest in the group but we suffered from kit difficulties (Trevett opting to play in boat shoes after losing all his luggage) and the captain's rather strange agreement to a 7.30am start for one of the matches (we had to wait for dawn to break before we could start).

Off the field Nick Whitfield travelled in hope but failed to play a match after his cruciate ligament injury flared up whenever starting times were mentioned; he won an award for visiting Cheetahs on ever day throughout the tour.

The behaviour was generally good, although there was too much shopping done in many peoples' opinion, too little drinking and too long spent in burger bars and Denny's. Nigel Clark's behaviour on the outward journey leaves little reason to believe that he will make it to Australia without being kicked-off the flight.

First Team: Henry Watkinson (capt), Steve Bailey, Rick Johnson, Nick Read, Michael Chetwode, Richard Thomas.

Second Team: Will Bond (capt), Tom Trevett, Tim MacKenzie, Nigel Clark, Martin Williamson, ANO.

Another Thanksgiving in Sarasota

It is generally assumed that a state which has George Bush's brother as Governor and is lashed by hurricanes fairly regularly wouldn't fear much. But the one thing that the inhabitants of the Sanatogin State really worry about is happening. The OCCC have confirmed that we are returning for a fourth time to play in the Sarasota International Sixes.

New skipper Steve Bailey issued an open invitation to all OCCC members to take part this week. A translation of Bailey's statement is available on request.

"As those of you went on the full 2001 tour will know several OC's are still wanted by Special Agent Mike Lopez of the Orlando FBI. Bearing that in mind, the plan this year is to fly in under yank radar (the Colombians all do it all the time) on Wednesay November 21st and (hopefully) get out again on Monday 26th (ie before they catch up with us and Bondy has to spend 8 years in Sing Sing as Bubba's roomie/bitch/dongcleaner).

"We have an action packed few days planned (being organised by the Bart-man - Lawrence's son-in-law for tour virgins) for those of you who worry (for different reasons) about Rik's/My organisational track record at such things. This will include finding the redneck in Florida (probably called either Cleitus or something-Bob) who owns the fastest one of those really cool hovercraft-type boats with the fans on the back. It will be good.

"Anyway, we will need to book flights by the end of the week so time to put your money where your mouth is. Flights to Tampa (out on the 21st, back on the 26th - the Maccas and Wongs are going on the 20th for anyone who finds drinking three bottles of red wine followed by two of scotch a pleasant way to spend your first day on holiday) are going to weigh in at about £360 with BA. Will get back to you when we get an exact number and number to call with Credit Card details, if that's a problem for any of you cats let me know. If anyone is even thinking about lezzing out they should bear in mind that they will receive months of calls/threats/whining/annoyance/irritation (above the usual) from Johnson and as we all know by now that just isn't worth it.

"Finally, this year's blacks are: West 14 Mules (strong lager, ginger beer, creme de cassis), smoking jackets and pipes), Johnson sleeping with the fishes, Trevett and Williamson finally getting it together in that special way, me clearing the pit and Bond not agreeing to everything Lol Parry says."

The OCCC takes no responsibility for any offence caused by Bailey's complete lack of decency.

Details

# You will need four days off work (Wed, Thu, Fri, Mon) and an iron constitution
# We will be staying at one of Florida's top hotels, the Holiday Inn, Sarasota (due for demolition early 2002) at £25-35 per night (extra for rooms away from McDermott)
# We will be playing five games (unless we go and do something stupid like qualify for the semi-finals).
# No Pelican Shield match (lucky as we're flying at the time).
# It will be another opportunity to accumulate more OCCC tour kit.
# You must let Bailey know immediately.